Friday, September 17, 2010


When courage fails, tears help ease the pain

Sorry I have not blogged or stopped by any of the blogs.I will get back soon, have not been feeling too well.Had a CAT scan yesterday,have not got the results yet, hoping something can be done.Thank you all for stopping by.


Friday, August 27, 2010


I just finished reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Ruben.In this book she dedicates a year for her happiness project, each month she tackeled a new set of resolutions.There are a lot of books on happiness on the book shelves but i found this book easiest to understand and may be she does address a lot of the things that trouble me.I have always been in search of happiness, I read over and over again that it is inside me and around me and that I don't have to go to the other side of the earth to find it, but did not know where to start.My daughter handed this book to me and said"Mom I think you will love this book".She was right because I could not put it down.

In this book she talks aboput the differences between goals and resolutions and also one has to start with "ME" , then others around you may change for themselves also.Like Gretchen I also have to find ways to eliminate bad feelings generated by snapping, being overly sensitive, not forgiving and also also givng myself an excuse for that behavoiur because I am always in pain.I do want to develop into a light hearted, kind and happy spirit,I know it is not going to be easy but small steps is all I need to take and make a resolution to stay with it.

This book is a good read because it gives you tips and scenarios to help you understand better.I also learned that contrary to some belief that money can buy you happiness if used wisely.This book has inspired me to do my own happiness projest.I hope you guys will come aboard with me.


Monday, August 16, 2010

What is love

I came across this phrase "Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile"
Franklin P. Jones

The more I read it , it began to make sense and I asked myself "what is Love" I think this question has been asked so many times and used so often that the true meaning has been lost along the way.I think that you don't love a person because he loves you ,love has to felt and experienced.Love enhances and bonds a relationship.I feel that there has to be a lot of tolerance and acceptance to love and also you cannot create love by always finding the negative traits in a person.some have more negative traits and some have more positive traits, if we focus on the positive we can overlook the negative.

There are so many different kinds of love.A love between mother and child is unconditional and cannot be bought it has to be felt,a romantic love is deep and enduring,where as an affectionate love is what we feel towards friends and family.Love changes with relationships but it does help us live a better life.No matter how hard the journey I think it the love shown that helps us through .I think in my life it is the love from family and friends that has made the journey so far worthwhile .Do you feel the same way? How would you describe Love?


Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Life is but a cycle every so many years
Starting out as infants without a care in the world.
Then came childhood with its innocence and grace.

The teen years brought rebellion, a life without fear
and acne on your face.
Involved with becoming our own
We could not wait for the years to go on.

Then came twenties,college,fun times,parties and all
Followed by a time to settle down,raise a family and
set an example for your own.

The thirties flew by,with no time to spare
So much to do,no time to prepare.
The forties were upon me without a thought.
Filled with obligations and worries
with no time for self doubt.

Then I got sick,life almost came to a stop
The years have gone by I sure missed a lot.
The children have grown,have a life of their own
"J" still beside me weathering the storm.

Hopefully the next cycle will bring a new life
So we can travel,go to the movies and do all the things
we have put on a shelf.

each day brings renewed hope, even though I miss the early years a lot.


Monday, July 05, 2010


There are some neat google search stories that started out as an advertisement, now you can create your own over here

I thought I would share the one I made with you my blogging friends.Go ahead and make one for yourself also.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Tiny hands
scribbled notes
presents wrapped
memories of birthday's
painful at times
yet happy to set free.


Wednesday, June 23, 2010



Green (Algeria) and White(USA)
Are in for a fight
The winner may go on
the looser will go home.
May the best team win.

This is really an exciting match.


Monday, June 21, 2010


I saw the movie "Shutter Island" yesterday,I think it was an awesome movie and so did "J" .It did start out a little slow but kept you at the edge of your seat.It made you realize how fragile the mind was and how easy it is for a person to live two different lives and to think it is real.I think even in our daily lives we sometimes do and think things that are not real and we believe it is.It is very easy to get caught up and make it real and believe it too that it may make people around you believe. think often as children we have make believe characters and stories and believe them, but as we grow older we know better and do not believe those things,It is a disease when even as an adult you fail to seperate the two.
For those who have not seen this movie I recommend it.I am unable to go to the movies so was happy to see it on video.


Saturday, June 19, 2010


Fathers day is a day of commemoration and celebration of Dad. It is a day to honor your father. Happy Fathers Day To All The Dads in the world.

When I think of my father
I remember a man of small stature, soft spoken
A silent provider, immaculately dressed
Shoes shining bright.
Always reading a newspaper, smoking a pipe,
Occasionally playing the Harmonica,
Watching wrestling matches into the wee hours
of the night.

I saw love in his eyes
Always giving without compromise.
A man of few words, confident and fair
Even though he was always away
I knew he still cared.

Proud of his children, and
he went to great lengths
To give us what we needed depriving himself.
He taught me the things in life that
I needed to know.
He was the tower of strength, source of love
Even in the midst of my imperfections and pitfalls
He accepted me and helped me grow.

I remember the train rides to and fro
And helping me with my home work because
I did not know.
He was a man who enforced discipline
Yet lenient in some
My mothers best friend
Who was there to the end.

I am sad that he is no more
But he lives in my heart
He will always be remembered
Not only today but forever .
I am honored to have known this man
I wish you were here Dad.


Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Drill Baby Drill was the chant we all heard
There is a big mess, will the clean water be restored.
Wildlife poisoned, livelihood destroyed
All for the love of really cheap oil.

Pellicans, fish,seagulls and birds
Soiled and oiled they wash up on shore
even after a clean up, no where to go.

responsibility we must take
To see that there is no mistake
when we drill on land or sea
we think of others and just not me.

we resist Goverment regulation
we resist public transportation
Gas guzzling vehicles we all want to drive
we want cheap oil,that off shore drilling provides.
There is so much blame to pass around,
we have seen it happen, now we have to learn.


Friday, June 11, 2010


Differences set aside,countries comes together
Teams dressed in colors
Show case their talent
Once in a lifetime opportunity for some
prayers said, medallions held
To be the team that emerges the winner.

Across the stands, a sea of color
spectators buzzing like bees
traveled by air, land and sea
painted faces,waving flags
children inspired .

Referees running
legs flying
heads knocking
A goal scored
fans in an uproar .

For some defeat, hopes destroyed
dreams unfulfilled.
For others, lessons learned
sportsmanship earned
still time to be the best team that wins.

I love soccor.


Tuesday, June 08, 2010


In between a busy day he
Takes time off ,drives me to the doctor
comforts, re assures and cares
Thank you for always being there.

Had a doctor visit today,it was a really long day, lots of traffic and in the end I did not get to see the doctor because he was doing some procedures at the hospital.I took some pictures from the car of the city .thought I would share them.

A Mercedes Taxi Cab.

A nice small cute home, not all the houses in Beverly hills are mansions.

Love the beautiful trees

$8/hr to park here...quite steep!

A beautiful apartment building

A street in Beverly hills lined with beautiful purple flowers

A view of the civic center

An Ad for the farmers market




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Sunday, June 06, 2010

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” Stacey2005 Stacey Charter quote


Thursday, June 03, 2010


Ok I literally don't have a broken heart but a heart that is misbehaving.does not want to follow a pattern but do what it pleases.I dont have any chest pains or anything serious but sometimes I just have a sinking feeling when it skips a beat.I think my heart is enjoying all this good weather we are having and just feels like skipping around.Went to the cardiologist on Tuesday and I have an event monitor is recording all my heart beats and then will send the information to the doctor via blue tooth technology.I was impressed with the device.I have posted a picture to show you what it looks like. this is my second day with it on and may have to have it on for another day or untill the doctor says it has to come I am just resting at home watching tv and I watched a movie "Wake up Sid" which was really good and had a happy all my friends have a good weekend and thanks for stopping by.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Electric pulsations throughout
sometimes uneasy,jittery ,feelings of distraught.
But makes me feel less pain
helps me regain some of the day that is left and not be in pain.


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I was tagged by White Magpie to do the following tag.

THE "IF" Tag

If I were a month.....I would have to pick the month of JUne.because it is the month of my birth, the first day of summer starts in June and also, most schools close in June so it is often a vacation month.

If I were a day of the week....I would have to pick Friday.I always loved Friday just because it was the end of the week,when I was a child I loved fridays because ther was no school on saturday.Now I am glad because "j" will be home on saturday.

If I were a time of day....It would have to be 5.30 am because it is the time that "J"wakes me up,its the time of day that we have coffee together and have some quality time.

If I were a season....I would be winter because without it there would be no spring.

If I were a planet....I would be earth.nothing comes close to the planet earth with all its beauty and life.

If I were a sea animal...I would be a dolphin.I think they are cute and harmless

If I were a direction....I would be East for obvious reasons.

If I were a piece of furniture....I would be a bed because when my back hurts too much I find refuge in my bed.

If I were a liquid.....It would have to be water.No life without water.

If I were a tree....I would be an Oak because it is big and strong.

If I were a tool....I would be a wood cutter because you can carve out many shapes and build so many things.

If I were an element....Being a woman it would have to be Gold.

If I were a gemstone......A diamond indeed,

If I were a musical instrument....I would be a flute.I love the beautiful sound of the flute,it is very peaceful.

If I were a color.....
It would have to be blue, because I love the blue skies.

If I were a emotion.....It would have to be Joy.

If I were a fruit...It would have to be a Mango.Because I love mangoes

If I were a sound...
It would have to be the sound of Music, because music soothes the soul.

If I were a car.....
it would have to be a BMW because I think it is a cool car to drive.

If I were owuld have to be rice, because I love rice and I think it is a food widely available and feeds a lot of people, the rich and the poor.

If I were a taste.....It would have to be sweet.I have a sweet tooth and love sweets

If I were a scent....
It would have to be Jasmine.I love the smell of jasmine

If I were a pair of shoes.....It would have to be a pair of leather shoes with a soft sole.

If I were a bird....It would have to be an eagle,to soar across the skies .

I am going to tag Priya and Deepa and Renu


Tuesday, May 04, 2010


On this bright,and sunny spring morning
I wake up to hear the birds sing.
I think to myself,no matter where or what
The birds begin their day with a song in their hearts.

Each bird sings in their special way,
sometimes they are just echoing the way.
Without worrying what the others have to say.
Yet when we listen, there is no chaos,
Each sound is distinctive and clear
It all depends on what we want to hear.

And the birds sing.


Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I recieved this email..........thank you so much for participating in our initiative and making your blog carbon neutral! Your tree will be planted this month by the Arbor Day Foundation. The scheduled start plant date was Monday, April 19 and the trees will be planted by a contracted crew. The roads are being plowed, all contracts solidified, and twelve shipments of 150,000 seedling each are being assembled. We thank you for the support!

There are still some trees looking for a sponsor. So if you know some people who have a blog or website, pass it on and we'll make their blogs carbon neutral too!  click here



Sunday, April 25, 2010


In honor of earth day I would like a tree planted to make my blog carbon neutral.According to Alexander Wissner just planting one tree per blog can help the planet.So many trees have been destroyed in fires over the years and have not been replanted.Here is how you can participate


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

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This is what I see lying on my bed.


I look out of my window
And what do I see
Yellow and red flowers staring back at me.
I see the blue sky over the hill
There is no wind ,the leaves are so still.

I hear the birds chirping
heralding the morn.
I see the rabbits scurrying
after munching on the lawn.

It is a beautiful day outside,
And I am glad to be alive
Even if most of my days are spent inside.

Everything awakens for this season.
The cold winter rest brings new reason.
I love Spring.


Friday, April 09, 2010

Is it a Slate, is it a phone,is it a page? No it is my IPad

      "J" walks in with this  little bag from Best buy, I immediately say to myself "I wonder what he has bought this time". He opens the box and hands me the IPad. I hold it in my hands, look it over and then I am immediately  transported back in time. It is the begining of the school year,my mother was really busy, there were books to be bought and new clothes to be stitched.My older brothers would be busy covering their books with brown paper and fixing  nice colorful labels on the front of the book.I was just happy with my slate.

To me the slate was like an never ending book,you could write and draw and at the touch of an eraser you could  start over, it was magical.I remember writing my name on the wooden frame and carefully putting it into my school bag,sometimes I would come home crying because my slate was broken,or sometimes it was because it was stolen,but I did love my slate. I would spend a lot of time sitting in a corner,slate propped on my knees writing and drawing.

Today I felt I was holding my slate in my hand again,it is the same size and shape and to me everything about it is magical.At the touch of my finger I can make things appear or disappear and I can also flip the pages as if it were a book.It is just so  exciting.If only my mother were alive to see this,she would understand why I am so much in love with the Ipad. Thank You "J" for getting this for me.

I pick up my Ipad, put it in my bag and I feel I am on my way to school.


Thursday, April 01, 2010


"J"  and I had this serious discussion this morning about morality.he posed this questions to me." Should Judgement be based on motive or outcome"?

For example  he says. 'A....  drives recklessly on a road but does not kill or hurt anyone but B drives recklessly but kills or hurts someone, should they be judged the same way. we may say that A did not hurt anyone but B did, but in the end the motive to drive recklessly was the same.How would we judge them.

As usual I am stumped and don't know the correct answer DO YOU?


Thursday, March 25, 2010


At the break of dawn he stirs me up
Wake up, he says it  is early morn.
My eyelids are heavy, I cannot open them up
The spirit is strong, but my body says sleep on.
After an enduring few minutes, the heavy eyelids lift
I see that the morning sun has risen ,the room is well lit.

Are you up he calls
Come over and sit
by the computer , so that we can just sip.
The aroma of the coffee awakens me more
The thought of him waiting for me, takes me to the door.

Together we sit, coffee cups in hand
As he reads out aloud the news of  the land.
From the New York times, then spanning the globe to India today.
He looks at me and says, this is the best time of the day
I would not want it any other way.
I agree, silently nodding my head.
It is time well spent,even if I had to get out of bed.

I think to my self, it is well worth the less sleep.
just to sit by him and follow the news,
sometimes its a game of trivia or hangman
sometimes it is just listening to a tune.

I am just fortunate enough to spend some time with him,
before he hits the freeway ,and is gone for the day.


Tuesday, March 16, 2010


It was a very quiet day sunday,"J"and I had nothing much to do, one of those lazy, daisy days.we were tired of watching movies so we decided to just talk,he came upon a very interesting theory, saying that love is a choice.It is each one of us who decides whether we love the other person or not.sometimes knowingly and sometimes not.I was taken aback because I never ever thought of love like that.I always thought people fell in love.So he posed another question."What do you think happens when there is an arranged marriage? don,t you think the person makes a concious decision to love the other person even though they are strangers?" I thought about it for a while and then I asked him "Did you fall in love with me or choose to love me?" To this he replied."would you feel better if I told you I just happenned to fall in love with you versus I chose to love you."
I said "I don,t know". what do you think ? would you feel better if some one said they hand picked you from all the peole in this world to love or that by chance they just happenned to fall in love with you."VERY PERPLEXED


Monday, March 08, 2010


"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily difference we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee"
Marian Wright Edelman, American Activist, Families in Peril"



Wednesday, March 03, 2010


Yesterday started out as a very uneventful day.looking out of my bedroom I can see the yellow and red flowers on the hillside,heralding the appearance of spring.Usually in the afternoon if there is something interesting on the Oprah Show I watch it. lately she has not had too many good shows so when I saw that Roger Ebert was on I decided to watch. I have been a fan of Ebert and Siskel who are film critics for a long time.Siskel died of cancer and then Ebert was dagnosed with cancer..After multiple throat surgeries he was back. He has lost his voice to cancer but he is the same funny person.His wife read something that he had written in his journal that really made me think and made me feel thankful for the life I had and also that no matter what my problems or circumstance in life is, I can try to make others happy and also be a happier person.I really wanted to share his words with you.

" I Believe that if at the end of it all according to our abilities,we have done something to make others a little happier and something to make ourselves happier,that is about the best we can do.

To make others less happy is a crime.To make ourselves unhappy is where all crimes start.We must try to contribute joy to the world ,that is true no matter what our problems, whether it is our health, or our circumstances in life we must try.I did not know this and I am happy I lived long enough to find this out."
Roger Ebert.

When he was asked if is unhappy about how he looks.this is what he said"Nobody is perfect, we have to find peace in the way we look and get on with life" I thought his words were so true.


Monday, March 01, 2010


A whole year has gone by and I had so much to say, so much to write about but I decided to be still.I have no reasons why, no excuses to get me by.It was more of feeling sorry for myself, engaging in self pity and blaming the whole world for how i was feeling.

A lot has happened during the past year, some colorful and some not.I started out with just a pneumonia , also aggravated my back condition and sent me down hill and it has been a long road to the top again.Had another surgery for my back and I am feeling a lot better.Now I am a little bionic and a little electric.I will write another post on that.

I am able to do a lot more, not as depressed and dopey as I have been and am ready to take on the world.I am extremely sorry for this long silence.I did miss all my blogger friends.I know I have lost a few ,I do hope I am welcome in Blogosphere again.My family has been very supportive and if it was not for them I do not know how I would have got well.Anyway it is a new year and hopefully a new life for me.