Thursday, December 28, 2006

Happy New Year (ABBA)

When I look back at the year 2006, my first thoughts are that it went by too soon.The children have grown older, passed many milestones , some of them I could not take part in because I was ill, but it still was a wonderful year. The good outweighed the bad. I am here alive and doing so much better than when the year started.

Even though the whole year was spent just staying home,it still was meaningful.I got to spend a lot of quality time with members of my family. The time otherwise would have been spent either doing household chores, shopping or wor
k, instead the time was spent just talking to them.The children got to know a lot more about the grand parents they had never seen, went down my memory lane and learned what it was like growing up as a child in India.And I think it brought J and me a lot closer too.

I missed both graduations but on the brighter side I was able to see the videos and got a better view than if I was physically present.I got to see a lot more family, who otherwise would not have made it to our home because we live so far from the
rest. (Thats one good reason to be ill), I missed a couple of weddings,Birthday and Anniversary celebrations.But sometimes the whole party came to me and I could not have asked for more.

The best thing that happenend was that I started to blog.I just registered in order to leave a comment and then could not help having my own blog.I would not have met so many wonderful people from all over the world. All of my blogger friends have stood by me through all my difficult times, seen me through my surgery and are helping me during my recovery phase.I have had nothing but positive feedback and I owe it all to you.It improved my writing skills,gave me courage to e
ven pen a few poems.Something I had not done before I started to blog.

January 2007 makes one year since I started to blog.I have learned so much from each one of you. I took back something positive from every post that I read. You have lifted my spirits when I was down, helped me be strong when I felt weary, made me want to try out new recipes when I am better, and most of all you made me smile.Thank you for being with me through 2006.I hope you will be with me through 2007.Thanks to all of you for being my friend.



Thursday, December 21, 2006

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics

Written by Maya at age 11

Busy,buzzing mothers cooking up delicious,tasty culinary delights.
Fathers sit around their cups of egg nog plastered to their hands.
Little children whine and cry, tired of parents constant no-no's.
Big kids play board games till the sun goes down, living on the sweet
holiday treats.

Plates of cookies, cakes and pies decorate tables.
Soothing christmas carols play softly
Among the chatttery christmas gossip.
Smells from the kitchen lure peeking heads
To see what's brewing for hungry mouths.
The jug of egg nog gets passed on from hand to hand,
Sometimes landing clumsily on the floor.

Sprigs of mistletoe accent the tables,
Smelling of sweet greenery.
Cookie ropes dangle from the ceiling,
Tempting kids to reach out and grab a cookie.
Popcorn strings hang around the tree,
The buttery smell contrasting with the minty spice smell

Anxious hands shake brightly-colored packages,
Wondering dreamily what's inside.
Big sisters play mini-mothers
Keeping the little kids away from the collectibles.
The snow makes a pure white sheet on the yard,
Enchanting the family.
The christmas Spirit lurks around the room
Getting everyone into it.

WISHING ALL MY FRIENDS A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A BRIGHT NEW YEARmyspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics


Saturday, December 16, 2006

Book Reviews...

Read two books this week. The first one is called "The Sari Shop" by Rupa Bajwa.Set in Amritsar, India, The Sari Shop is the story of Ramchand, a poor shop assistant at the Sevak Sari house. The novel begins with Ramchand stuck in an empty stupor and follows him on special assignment to bring saris to the wealthy Kapoor family. With a renewed sense of possibility, Ramchand embarks on a course towards self-improvement, beginning by learning English. As his perspective broadens, his newfound clarity gives way to painful revelations about how cruelly society functions.
Though the story includes theft, rape, and murder, Bajwa renders these traumas with simplicity.
The Sari Shop is most successful, most tender, when it centers on Ramchand's inner anxieties. Unfortunately, Ramchand is the only character that pauses to see “two sides to every coin.” Other characters in the novel are familiar types; both the poor and the rich function as mouthpieces for particular positions in a moralistic class argument. The wealthy women, for instance, are one-dimensionally materialistic and self-interested.
But, perhaps this panoramic satire of social types highlights the very point Bajwa is after, that characters who live without seeing themselves implicated in the plight of others are living one-dimensionally, are more like types than human beings. The most hope comes from wealthy Rina Kapoor, who allows Ramchand to attend her wedding. Ultimately, she too uses Ramchand only to advance her own agenda, to write a novel about a sari shop assistant.
The Sari Shop calls attention not to colorful aspects of Indian culture that might draw Western audiences but to India on its own terms—problems, pain, and all.

I really enjoyed reading this book, it took you into the lives of other people and how they live and what they go through. Sometimes we fail to realize that behind every person's face is a family and a story. It also touched on a very important social issue like domestic violence and also the struggles of one family when there is no income .

Each morning, Bhima, a domestic servant in contemporary Bombay, leaves her own small shanty in the slums to tend to another woman's house. In Sera Dubash's home, Bhima scrubs the floors of a house in which she remains an outsider. She cleans furniture she is not permitted to sit on. She washes glasses from which she is not allowed to drink. Yet despite being separated from each other by blood and class, she and Sera find themselves bound by gender and shared life experiences.
Sera is an upper-middle-class Parsi housewife whose opulent surroundings hide the shame and disappointment of her abusive marriage. A widow, she devotes herself to her family, spending much of her time caring for her pregnant daughter, Dinaz, a kindhearted, educated professional, and her charming and successful son-in-law, Viraf.
Bhima, a stoic illiterate hardened by a life of despair and loss, has worked in the Dubash household for more than twenty years. Cursed by fate, she sacrifices all for her beautiful, headstrong granddaughter, Maya, a university student whose education -- paid for by Sera -- will enable them to escape the slums. But when an unwed Maya becomes pregnant by a man whose identity she refuses to reveal, Bhima's dreams of a better life for her granddaughter, as well as for herself, may be shattered forever.
Poignant and compelling, evocative and unforgettable, The Space Between Us is an intimate portrait of a distant yet familiar world. Set in modern-day India and witnessed through two compelling and achingly real women, the novel shows how the lives of the rich and the poor are intrinsically connected yet vastly removed from each other, and vividly captures how the bonds of womanhood are pitted against the divisions of class and culture.

I enjoyed reading this book because it captured the lives of two households one of upper class and one of a servant. The dreams and aspirations the servant had for her grand daughter and it also showed how an education can lift one from poverty to middle class. It also touched on AIDS and also how the servant lost her job because she was strong enough to speak up .


Wednesday, December 13, 2006


You sit by my bed
You scrunch your forehead
Sometimes not knowing what to say
You hold my hand
You make me smile
You tell me that I am going to be allright.

You always tell me I am getting strong
You get me up and make me walk.
You tell me
We will
visit Chicago in the spring
Go to India in the summer
The places we will see and,
The things that we will do
Because you know it brightens up my spirit.

Thank you "J" for being there
For giving me comfort
For wiping my tears and
For helping me through
I could not have come this far, without you.


Monday, December 11, 2006


My sister stayed with me for three whole weeks, she left yesterday. Inspite of being in pain my days were filled with laughter and endless hours of talking. My sister took the place of my mother and did everything that a mother would do for her child. Every morning I would wake up and see my sister in the next bed, she always woke up with a smile and said something funny to make me laugh. we would spend hours talking about how it was when we were growing up , about her schooldays and also how it was when her children were young. There was never a dull moment, there was always something to talk about. I would read out to her anything interesting I found either in the newspaper of the magazines, she would patiently listen and appear interested even if it did not interest her. Sometimes late into the night I would still be talking and would suddenly realize that she was fast asleep.

I am going to miss all the nice home cooked food and all the pampering but she had to go back home to her family. They live about 90 miles away from me so its not too bad .I will get to see her on and off. Most of the time you dont realize how important family is untill you are in a crisis or when you are sick. Nobody in this world will standby you like family. I think even in the worst of families where there is a lot of problems, in times of trouble they appear to get along and help one another.

I am so thankful and happy that I got to spend this wonderful time with my sister, this may not have happened if I were not sick. I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I will always treasure this time that I had with her and wish everyone could have a sister like her.She will always be my friend.


Saturday, December 09, 2006



Wednesday, December 06, 2006

ONE MONTH UPDATE... slow and steady wins the race.

Today makes one month since I had my surgery, I can definetly say I am on the road to recovery. Had my first post-op visit with the doctor.He feels I am doing well but I have a long way to go. Apparently the bone takes about 12 weeks to fuse. I have to have a CT scan done in February 2007 to evaluate bone fusion. Only after that will I start Physical Therapy and Rehab. I was a little disheartened about this, but I have to be strong and I am sure the next two months will go by fast. Right now I am like a turtle slow but steady , I am sure I will win this race. All of you have made me feel so special and loved, and have stood beside me.

I am up with the walker throughout the day, as much as I can. My incision is healing well.Not able to sit for long but am doing better every day. I had to add comment moderation on my blog because of unwanted stuff coming through.I do apologize. I have started slowly going through everyones blog , still have a long way to go. Will write again later. Happy holidays to each and every one of you.


Wednesday, November 29, 2006


It is a cold windy day
I hear the rustle of the leaves
And the sound of the winds.
I look out of my window
I see the tall trees swaying in the breeze
Trying to resist the mighty wind.
But the winds are at play.

There are moments of calm
When the trees try to stand straight.
Before another gust of wind.
sweeps them down.

Sometimes I feel like these trees
Feeble at times, yet
Trying to stand tall and resist whatever
Ails me and be strong.


Friday, November 24, 2006

Hello everyone...

Thank you all for your good wishes. I am on the road to recovery . It is almost three weeks post op. I am up three times a day with the help of a walker and am doing well. Just need to get my strength back, not able to sit for long. I have a lap top but because of the abdominal incision I cannot work with it too much lying down. Before you know it I am going to be my old self again.

Yesterday was thanksgiving, it was a rather quiet day.Maya was down with the flu so was unable to come home. Vijay was here and it made my day bright. We had turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and all the stuff that goes with thanksgiving. J's neice and her husband and kids were here so it was not too bad. So much to be thankful this year.

First of all I do have to be thankful for having such wonderful, caring friends like you. Last year this time I did not even know all of you existed. You all have given me so much joy and I love to read all the blogs, I have so much catching up to do.

I am thankful for having a good family , without them I could not have gone through all this. they have been a tower of strength, and have helped me every step of the way.

I am thankful for having come through the surgery so well and thank God for taking care of me and my family.

So much to be thankful for. I am really blessed. I want to wish each and everyone of you a happy thanksgiving. May your lives be blessed with every thing that is good.


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Thank you for all the prayers
Thank you for being my friend
Thank you for giving me courage
And thank you for just being there.

Dear friends..

My surgery went well. I am back home today. It will be a rough road to recovery, but I am positive that by the year end I will be as good as new. A big thank you to each and everyone of you. I will update when I feel better. Thanks for enquiring.


Monday, November 06, 2006


My back has been bad for almost three years
I have been through a lot of pain and many a tear.
I have sought many treatments
Boasting a cure.
Physical therapy, accupuncture,Chiropractic,
And Epidural shots, to name a few.

X-rays were taken, scans were read
many MRI's along the year too.
came back with the same diagnosis, that
I had a bad back ,which I already knew.

Don't bend, sit up straight.
Eat healthy ,dont put on weight.
Use ice, no! use heat said some.
Just go to India and try Ayurvedic said one.

The doctor has spoken
The verdict is in.
I have two bad discs that are torn
through and through and.
need to be replaced with something new.

The surgery is set for November 6th
One disc will be to be replaced
with the The PRODISC
Which is something new.
The second will be replaced
Which will be glued.

Recovery is quick,
Thats what I am told.
Three to five days in the Hospital
And then I will be home.

I will try and update
As soon as I feel well.
Untill then my dear friends
Take care of yourselves.

Many of my friends have asked what surgery I am going to have so I thought I should post something so everyone would know. Thank you all for giving me courage and for all the prayers. I will be good as new ,and will be back to blogging and give you all the news. till then "Adios "my friends.


Saturday, November 04, 2006

Myspace Text Generator, Myspace GraphicsMyspace BackgroundsMyspace Text Generator, Myspace GraphicsMyspace Codes, Myspace GraphicsGlitter GraphicsMyspace CodesMyspace BackgroundsMyspace CodesMyspace Codes, Myspace GraphicsMyspace Text Generator, Myspace GraphicsMyspace CodesMyspace Codes, Myspace GraphicsMyspace CodesMyspace BackgroundsMyspace BackgroundsMyspace Text Generator, Myspace GraphicsMyspace Text Generator, Myspace GraphicsMyspace CodesMyspace Layouts

Maya you are very special
You deserve the best.
You have always filled our hearts
With love and happiness.

Today is very special.
Wish you the very best.
Even though you are miles away
You are thought of every day.

Make a special wish
And whatever you wish for
I wish the same for you
And hope it comes true.
Happy Birthday Maya. Hope you have a fun filled day.



Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Another Long Day..

First of all I want to wish everyone a happy Halloween. I think next year I will be able to go to a Halloween party and maybe dress up as something scary. I love Halloween and all the scary stuff that goes with it, but I really don't think gruesome Halloween decorations belong in a Blood bank.

I made a visit to the American Red Cross on Friday to donate my blood for my upcoming surgery. I was lying down on a recliner and the nurse stuck a really big needle in my arm, looked like a mini skewer. There were long tubes attached to a bag and I can feel my blood just being pulled into the bag. I open my eyes and I see pictures of Dracula with blood dripping from his teeth , tombstones and pictures of people with blood dripping all over the place, for a minute I thought I died and went to hell. I had just posted something about God ,maybe I made him angry. I was lying there for a whole hour looking at these awful pictures while all my blood was being drained from me. I closed my eyes and took a nap.If dracula was hungry he could just have all my blood.

Yesterday was a really long day with doctors and more doctors. First saw the internst, who said my ekg was a little abnormal and made me do a stress echo.After doing the echo on my heart she says I have to get on a bike. I thought she was kidding me. First of all I have not been on a bike in maybe 20 years, and secondly I was here with a really bad back. Anyway I passed the test, my heart is still good inspite of J making me skip a beat ever so often.

Then came more blood work and then a chest X-Ray. It was all over by 7pm. J was really patient and I think he just about read every magazine that was there. On the way home we picked up some Chinese food. I was really exhausted but its behind me. I have one more visit with a Vascular Surgeon tomorrow.Then I am all done and ready for the big day . Sorry I have not visited too many blogs. I promise to catch up and read all the beautiful stories, and poems .


Thursday, October 26, 2006


There was an article in the LA times about how Americans see God. Is God wrathful and ready to give punishment or is God a more Benevolent creator? Americans were asked this Question and they came up with four kinds of Gods. According to the study done by Baylor University people have four perceptions of God.

Authoritarian God...— God who is "very judgmental and engaged" with the world.
This God was defined as a judgmental deity capable of inflicting punishment on the unfaithful or ungodly.

Benevolent God... — God who is not judgmental but still very active in human affairs.
A God who judges humankind but is less likely to be angry or act in "wrathful ways." This God is mainly a positive influence on the world and less willing to punish individuals.

Distant God ... deity who is removed from human affairs.
A kind of a God, defined as one who does not interact with the world and "is not especially angry either." Such a God, researchers said, is viewed more as a "cosmic force which sets the laws of nature in motion."

Critical God ...— God who does not interact with the world, but who still views some events on Earth with disfavor.
This deity is similar to the Distant God in that this God does not interact with the world. Still, the Critical God watches the world — and punishes offenders eventually.

Most Americans according to the study believed in God. Americans in the East leaned towards a critical God, the west towards a distant God, Midwesterners towards a Benevolent God and southerners towards a Authoritarian God.

I believe in a Benevolent God, because I don't think God is looking down on this earth wanting to hurt people. I believe that God is Good , I cannot see God looking down at the poor and the hungry, the tragedies of war and all the chaos that is happening in this world ,and smiling and saying they deserve this. I don't believe that God does these things. We are always blaming god when bad things happen to us.I find it hard to think that God is partial and blesses only certain people. I think man is responsible for what is happening around the world. This is my view of God.. HOW DO YOU SEE GOD? Check this out " An interview with God"
Turn up the volume ,the music , pictures and the words are awesome.


Monday, October 23, 2006


The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland,

One story says that, on that day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the preceding year would come back in search of living bodies to possess for the next year. It was believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believed all laws of space and time were suspended during this time, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with the living.

Naturally, the still-living did not want to be possessed. So on the night of October 31, villagers would extinguish the fires in their homes, to make them cold and undesirable. They would then dress up in all manner of ghoulish costumes and noisily paraded around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible in order to frighten away spirits looking for bodies to possess.

The custom of Halloween was brought to America in the 1840's by Irish immigrants fleeing their country's potato famine. At that time, the favorite pranks in New England included tipping over outhouses and unhinging fence gates.

The custom of trick-or-treating is thought to have originated not with the Irish Celts, but with a ninth-century European custom called souling. On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes," made out of square pieces of bread with currants. The more soul cakes the beggars would receive, the more prayers they would promise to say on behalf of the dead relatives of the donors. At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in limbo for a time after death, and that prayer, even by strangers, could expedite a soul's passage to heaven.

The Jack-o-lantern custom probably comes from Irish folklore. As the tale is told, a man named Jack, who was notorious as a drunkard and trickster, tricked Satan into climbing a tree. Jack then carved an image of a cross in the tree's trunk, trapping the devil up the tree. Jack made a deal with the devil that, if he would never tempt him again, he would promise to let him down the tree.

Looking back over the years, Halloween has always been a special day at our house. For weeks ahead, the children would be excited picking out what costumes they would wear, for the most part I made them costumes and there was always a pumpkin to carve. Sometimes even I would wear a costume and go out with the children Trick or treating. We would bring all the candy home, keep some and give the rest to the other children who would come by. J would stay home and pass the candy out. Sometimes he would just leave the basket of candy outside the door and hope that the kids would take only one each.

I remember when we first moved to California, I did not want the children eating so much of candy, so I decided to give out pencils instead, not the regular ones but the ones with cartoon characters on them. As the children stopped by I handed each a pencil, later on I heard that the kids were yelling " dont go to Maya's house, her mother is giving out pencils. So the next year it was candy for all.

Now the children are away at school, many of the children who grew up in this neighborhood have also gone away to school, so there are only a few little ones left. I love to see the children dressed up, carrying their bags and shouting "Trick or Treat." Sometimes I wish my children were little again and we can dress up and walk the streets shouting "Trick or Treat"


Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Tagged by Alex

Are you happy/satisfied with your blog, with its content and look? Does your family know about your blog?

I am very happy with my blog, its content and look. I think Yogi did a really good job with my template. My family knows about my blog, I dont think there is anything
to hide. Actually J was the one who encouraged me to write.

Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or do you consider it a private thing.

I am happy to share my blog with my friends. anything on the internet is a public thing.

Did Blogs have a positive change in your thoughts?

Yes they did. I was lonely and sad because I was home with a bad back. Blogging made me think positively and all my friends have encouraged me and also given me advice. Blogging has been a very positive thing for me.

Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or do you love to go and discover new blogs for yourself.

I always go and explore new blogs, I make it a point to comment on the blogs of people who visit me, but I like meeting new bloggers too.

What does the visitor counter mean to you? do you care about putting it on your blog?

The counter just tells me how many visitors read my post and also tells me where they are from? I dont give it too much importance.

Do you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures.

I do try and imagine who my blogger friends are. sometimes I get a mental picture of the person who is writing a post. I do not post any real pictures, I dont think it is necessary.

Do you think there is a real benefit to blogging.

I can only say that blogging changed my life. I have been home with a back injury and was lonely, I stumbled on a blog by accident and am so glad I did. I dont feel as lonely as before, I occupy myself by writing posts or reading other bloggers posts. It also made me a better writer.

Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from the real world or interacts with events.

I dont think bloggers are isolated in any way. I think all bloggers are very well informed with whats going on all around the world. By reading different posts I know whats going on in my world and across the miles to whats going on in India.

Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it is a normal thing?

I enjoy positive criticism and have learned from it. It really has never annoyed me. It has actually made me want to do better.

Do you fear some political blogs and do you avoid them

I do not fear political blogs and sometimes like to read the posts.There is nothing to be afraid of, you just get to know what other people think.

Did you get shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?

Yes I did. I think people should have the right and freedom to express themselves.

Do you think about what will happen to your blog after you die.

I began to think about it after reading about Keshi's friend Janice. I think when I die my family will post something about it.they are aware of how important my blog and my readers are.

What do you like to hear and what song would you like to put a link to in your blog.

I love all sorts of different music, nothing in particular. I would like to post the lyrics of Josh Grobin..

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.

Sorry I have not been able to read too many posts, have not been feeling too well. will catch up soon and leave my comment. Thanks to everyone for checking up on me.


Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Today is Vijay's Birthday. He is growing up to be a kind, sensitive soul. I wish him nothing but Happiness always. I love you Vijay and I hope you have a fun day.

I want to share a poem written by Maya

By Maya At Age 11

I woke up one morning
With a tear in my eye.
My mother was gone
And I wasn't sure why.
I found my dear aunt beside my small bed
Mom is in the hospital she said.
My mom in the hospital?
What a scare!
Even though I knew why she was there.

My aunt and I left for the hospital
To see if she was alright.
We hurried the taxi driver
With all our might.

We quickly walked down the squeaky floors
I peeked inside patients open door's.
I scrunched up my nose
At the funny smell, but
my eyes lit up at the gift shop
with things to sell.

Then my heart filled with joy
when I saw my Dad and Mom
With a bundle in her arms.

I saw his tiny face and head
Looking so new.
My baby brother, Vijay.
I whispered in his ear,
" I love You".


Monday, October 09, 2006


My love of trains goes back as far as I can remember.The trains in India are as ancient as India itself, it looks like part of the landscape. Much of the Indian life is lived within sights of the railway station or the train tracks. The Indian railway is not merely a way of going to and from work but rather a solution to the complex demands of family life. Births, deaths, marriage and religious festivals all require a journey home. At the time when I was growing up in India air flights were expensive so most people depended on the train.

My father was home once a year, I looked forward so much to that visit because not only did I get time to spend with him but he would take me and my younger brother for train rides. We would usually go from one station to another but sometimes we would just ride the train all day and then take the return train home. The exciting part was there was no destination.

I remember one such day, scattered showers of the monsoon had begun to appear, I sat by the window in the train, looking out. I could see the rice fields, planting had begun and it was a luscious green. The cool air filled my nostrils, I could smell the fresh earth,the children playing in the fields appeared happy with no care in the world. I wanted to be one of those children, the expanse of the green fields and wild flowers beckoned me.

At the first stop, I see people scurrying back and forth, you can tell the long distance traveler because they always carrying a big trunk. The trunk had many uses, children would use it as a seat, when lunch was served it converted to a table and you suddenly felt like home, it was also used as a back or head rest.

Across the tracks I see many vendors selling food, books, trinkets and even sunglasses. One cannot miss the meals on wheels, hot tea and also vegetables and rice. I always liked the hot masala peanuts which was wrapped in note book paper, after eating the peanuts I would try and figure out what was written and wonder who the book belonged to .

The train thunders on, passing small villages . I see men and women washing clothes by the river and mud huts with grass roofs in the distance. We pass by a bridge and I see cattle grazing. It was a clear evening after a rainstorm, there was not a dark cloud in the sky , the blue color reflected in the pools of water in the paddy fields.

I keep gazing out of the window, the skies slowly begin to get darker and soon all that can be seen is the flicker of lights in the distance which gets brighter as we reach the station. Very few words are exchanged the whole trip, it was a time to see and enjoy the world outside of my home.

Suddenly the train comes to a halt, I feel my fathers hand on my shoulder, it was time to disembark. He gets himself a hot cup of tea and gets us some peanuts. I was too excited to eat. I can feel my fathers hand gripped in mine, as we make our way home. I had been on this beautiful journey and had spent time with my father, I wished this train ride could have gone on forever.


Friday, October 06, 2006


I sit by my window
Looking out beyond the hills
I watch the sunset
And am happy to be me.

I watch the brilliant blue
Turn to a soft pink and grey
Some dark clouds begin to form
At the end of the day.

I see the trees change from
Dark green to burnt orange
So many colors to herald fall.

I hear the dogs bark
I can hear the birds chirping
Feeding their young
Soon it will be dusk
Time to quiet down.

I look up at the sky
It is twilight
The stars slowly fill the sky
I look up at the full moon
It is time to say good night.


Tuesday, October 03, 2006


I have been tagged By Adi.

Rules of the game.
1. Name the person who tagged you.
2. Eight things about you.
3. Tag six people

  1. I think most of you know quite a bit about me. I am a wife and a mother of two and a sister. I am originally from Bangalore, and have lived in the U.S. all of my adult life.
  2. I am sensitive, ( J thinks I am ultra sensitive). I love nature, especially the sun, moon and the stars. I enjoy the seasons and would love to live on a farm.
  3. I used to be upset about little things but have learnt not to let these things upset me. There are so many other things to think about , no use sweating about the small stuff.
  4. I love to read and did not know how much I loved to write until I started to blog.
  5. I am not a very religious person, spiritual in a sense, I think there is one God and we all take different paths to reach this god.
  6. I do not like guns and violence. I think most problems can be solved with non-violence.
  7. The simple things in life excite me.
8. I am blessed with a wonderful husband , children , a large family and many beautiful
9. I love everything that has to do with the universe and OuterSpace.
10.I love all my blogger friends out there. Even though sometimes I don't feel so well,
reading your posts makes me smile.

I have been tagged By Hip Grandma and Alex To name six weird things about me. I have done this tag before, but decided to do it again because I can come up with more than six weird things
  1. I love to dance and always talk about dancing, the weird thing is I really don't know how to dance.
  2. When I wake up in the morning I have to make my bed, even when I don't feel so good.
  3. I check and recheck the stove top to make sure it is turned off a number of times children always laugh about this.
  4. I am always waiting to see the end of a show or a movie even after it has ended. Pretty weird don't you think?
  5. I love to sit at the beach and watch the waves but I am extremely scared of the water.
  6. I was told to tag six more people, the weird thing is I cannot stop at six. So I am going to tag the next 10 bloggers who comment on this post.


Friday, September 29, 2006

A Day At The Doctor..

I spent the whole day at the doctors office yesterday. It was an hours drive, exhausting, fighting through so much of traffic and finally we get there. This is a new specialist I am seeing for my back. He is located in Beverly Hills, thought there would be some star sighting but did not. Actually if it was night time I would have seen many stars because it was a clear beautiful starry night.

First you enter a large waiting room, sign your name in, my appointment time was 12 noon look at the list ahead of my name, and there are 5 names signed in for 1130 and 3 for 12 noon. So according to my calculation even if the doctor spends 10 minutes with each patient and 5 minutes chatting with the nurses that takes my appointment time to 2pm. Well there was nothing else to do but look around the room, pretend to be happy you are there and smile.
I settle myself as best I can in the big chair, I have a hard time sitting so I had to crunch my feet up, tried not to offend anyone and just leaned my head on "J"s big shoulders, actually I think it was his big arm because I don't think my head will reach his shoulders, I am only 5ft and he is 6'2". So you can get a picture of what it actually looked like.

Looking around the room I see many people, most of them appeared bored, few were irritated at the long wait. The only saving grace was that the chairs were comfortable, the air was cool and there was a plasma TV . One can only stare at the TV for only a short time, with only soaps being aired and no sound, you had to mouth read to figure out what was going on. Anyway we saw some of the soap stars that we had not seen since the last 15years, reminisced about how they appear to look the same, even the old people had not aged.( I personally think its plastic surgery and Botox.)

Finally I hear my name being called, I was all excited, I look at the clock it is 1.45pm. not bad I say to myself actually I am 15mins early even though my appointment was at 12. I go into this smaller room. You think you are going to be seen right away, but no, this is just another small waiting room, a private one. I lie on the exam table and wait, and wait and wait. I can hear the Doctor talking to the patient in the next room, I listen to his footsteps and take a deep breath thinking I am next, but he has gone past my room to another, so I just wait. I can see J getting impatient, and restless but finds comfort in a Newsweek even if it is one that he has already read.

In walks a little guy with a white long coat that looks like he is wearing a dress. " welcome " he says .I am Dr"A" I am going to ask you a few questions and then Dr "B" will be in. I figure this must be a resident or an Intern . He asks a hundred questions, twists my body into multiple positions, up and down, right side and left side, tippy toe and heel low. taps on my knees and hits on my ankles. Writes a few things down which I am dying to read, but I cant because he has his back turned to me.

Finally the famous Dr "B" arrives, with his long blond flowing hair and his English accent. He reviews what Dr "A" had written , explains that he has seen the MRI and he can help me back on my feet. I am thrilled hoping maybe they can take me in right now and have my surgery done, but my spirits were dampened when he said he needed another MRI and a Disco gram done. The Disco gram is going to be done on Monday and the MRI next week. So I have to wait for another two weeks to find out when I am going to have my surgery.

We leave the office, they even have Valet parking so that was nice, we stop and have lunch because we were starving, and try to figure out how I am going to get there on Monday. "J" may have to take another day off.

I was disappointed because there is still another wait, but it was OK. Even though it was a long day, I got to spend a whole day with "J". It was nice and I have another nice long day to spend with him on Monday. He was especially nice and said he enjoyed the day with me even if it was spent at the Doctors office.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006


By Vijay Age 15.

The court is silent and tranquil,
The once freshly painted lines
lay discolored and stripped.
The floor is scratched and the wood chipped away,
The nets are now a dark gray,
And hanging on a thread.

There are no young talents
playing their hearts out.
No coaches in new suits
doing anything in their power to win.
There are no yelling fans coming to see their teams play.
The fast and thunderous heart beats can no longer be heard.
The once bright red score board hangs corrupt, and no longer draws ones eyes.

Only when one listens closely, there is a faint echo of the buzzer that crushed so many hearts.

My home right now is like the empty basketball court, only remnants of things that were, no games are being played, no yelling fans. It is silent, when I listen carefully I hear the children laughing and playing, fighting and screaming. I was the coach , wanting them to win.


Monday, September 25, 2006


I look around the house, I see traces of the things the children left behind, a magazine, shopping bags, book receipts , coke and a lot of food in the fridge .I am sad. It was a beautiful summer. I really had a nice time that the kids were home though I was unable to go out and have fun, I had a good time just spending some quality time talking, watching movies and sometimes just doing nothing. In the morning Maya would wake up and come sit on my bed and we would watch something on TV. Discuss what was happening around the world. Have breakfast talk about her friends and soon it will be time for lunch. Vijay would be up and would go to the gym. He would always bring a movie to watch , on his way back and never fail to bring me an Indian sweet from the Indian store. I thank god for giving me wonderful children. I was not too much of fun because I would be in pain a lot but they still made me feel that they were having fun.

They tried to spend a lot of time at home with me, we would have a cup of tea together in the morning ,sometimes in the afternoon and at night. In between I got a lot of hugs and they always made me feel special. I am going to miss them.

Vijay made my day when he said "Amma I had a good summer here with you." Sometimes it is the simple things in life that make us happy. It does not have to be store bought presents or big words, it can just be a smile or a thank you.

All good things have to come to an end. I was glad that I spent some time with them. Now it is going to be just "J" and me, hopefully we can carry on the good times that we had when the kids were home. It is hard to let go of your children, I tell myself they have to do what they need to and I should let go. Sometimes it is hard but I have to remind myself that I should not be selfish and only think of how I feel. I have raised them I think pretty well and have given them wings so they can fly. Vijay is still not completely out of the nest , has a few more years to go. All I can say is "Thank you God for giving me this time with them"


Thursday, September 21, 2006

Tag world
I have been tagged by CHANDNI and Raj...

I need to list six bloggers that I would like to meet in person and these bloggers are automatically tagged.

When I started to blog I did not know I would meet so many wonderful people. It has been a good experience for me . so many people have helped me along the way, given me courage and made me smile when I was sad. Whenever I read a post I often think of the person writing it, sometimes I try to get a mental picture of the person, wonder about their life and family, where they live and what they do. I sometimes worry when someone has not posted for a long time and I hope they are well. All my blogger friends have a place in my heart. It is hard to pick just six. If I could have my way I would have a great big Bloggers reunion and get to meet all those faces behind those blogs. Now would'nt that be neat. That is just a dream so here I go.....

.. Fun loving and honest. Ilike reading her posts and would love to see this beautiful person.

.. I read her posts while she was here and then followed her to India. Her posts are always lively and fun. One day I would like to meet her.

.He is my hero. I really liked reading the cartoons he posted and he would take the time to explain it to me. I was really impressed when I read about his life and what he has gone through and how he met his wife. He is just a nice, kind guy. I feel like I have known him all my life.

.. I would like to meet this artist who does all these beautiful lay outs and also he took the time and offered to make one for me .A perfect stranger wanting to help someone he did not even know.

John.. Another blogger, I have read his posts many times and kind of travelled with him to his new job. He also made a template for me and was so sweet to me, he took time out of his busy schedule to do this. I would like to see who this person is.

Neers.. Her writing is awesome, she is mysterious and has an aura about her. I would like to meet her in person, maybe have a cup of tea and look at all her paintings and drawings.

...If I make it to Australia one day, I will have to meet this fun loving, sensitive, and beautiful person. I think it would be a lot of fun and she would go dancing.

.. I make it a point to read her Blog , I think there is a really nice and sensitive person there, much to be learned from reading her posts.

.. Every day there is a new poem out there. sometimes I feel it was written just for me. I have to meet this talented poetess. She is a caring and true friend.

... He is mysterious, very poetic and artistic too. need to meet the man behind the lines.

Twisted DNA.. There is always humor in his posts and it makes me smile.

..His writing is awesome and he is an intriguing person, someone I would like to meet.

..Love to see all the pictures and stories he posts.I think he is a caring and sensitive person

....A very interesting and intriguing person.

..Awesome story writer. would love to see him in person.

Scribblez. Last but not least I would certainly like to meet scribblez. I love reading her posts and poems. I can go on and on but have to stop I think I made it to twelve. I wish I could add everyones name because I would like to meet you all.



Wednesday, September 20, 2006


You stood by the doorway
Fresh and green.
one day

I saw that you had withered
And there were no leaves seen.

I felt sad and guilty
To have neglected you so.
I started watering you daily
Hoping you would grow.

Finally one day
A small green leaf
Appeared on the bough below

I was all excited
And watched you grow.

I watched in anticipation
Counting the leaves everyday
Hoping you would
Now there are many leaves
I know that you are alive.

All that was needed
was love and care
A little bit of nurturing
A chance to grow
to show your new leaves
and still stand at my door.

P.S. I dont have a picture of the plant bare because I thought of sharing this only after it started to grow.