Tuesday, July 25, 2006

NOAH'S ARK





In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed.

I needed a building permit. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height
limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions,to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

No, " said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.










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92 comments:

Yogi 8:36 AM  

HAHAH i died laughing at this, so true!

starry nights 8:38 AM  

Thanks Yogi..some one sent this to me ,I thought it was so true but hilarious so thought i would share it.

Contented 8:58 AM  

Awww...Hilarious one!!! Thanks for sharing with us...:)

Have a good day!!

starry nights 9:10 AM  

Contended..I am glad you enjoyed this

V N 10:04 AM  

ROTFL!
:)))

starry nights 10:26 AM  

Velu..thanks.I like ur new profile pic..cool.

Neers 10:31 AM  

damn funny!!! :)

Sumitha 10:40 AM  

Oh Star this was absolutely wonderful!I loved it!

sudhav 11:08 AM  

That is so hilarious.so very true..

starry nights 11:22 AM  

Neers..thank you

starry nights 11:23 AM  

Sumitha..thanks I am glad it made u laugh.

starry nights 11:23 AM  

Sudha..thanks.I liked it a lot, thought it was hilarious.

meet_me 11:32 AM  

haha
that ws so funny!!! wonder where we are heading too ;)

Ankit 12:05 PM  

good one :)

Id it is 12:20 PM  

I loved every bit!
Thanks for sharing.

Sarah 1:03 PM  

Gosh.. tht was so true!!!lol

Too_Many_Thoughts 1:18 PM  

oh my God funny!
u are talking about a serious issue here in a light manner...
if somehow we could do something, but alas!

starry nights 1:30 PM  

Id it is..thanks

starry nights 1:30 PM  

Sarah..was funny and true.

starry nights 1:31 PM  

Too many thought..wish we could and when we cant we have to laugh.

Hip Grandma 1:50 PM  

enjoyed the post.good one.

Traveling Soldier 3:16 PM  

To god the world appears to be huge ball of “red-tape” woven by its own people under the pretext of unnecessary laws and needless regulation. Who will remove the tape I wonder?

Funny to read, yet so thought provoking - Where is the world heading too.

starry nights 4:24 PM  

Preeta..thank you

starry nights 4:25 PM  

Travelling soldier. who is going to remove all this red tape.dont know.

jac 5:26 PM  

Beautifully done...delecious !!

samuru999 7:57 PM  

excellent!
Loved it!

starry nights 7:58 PM  

Thanks Jac. I thought it was really funny and so much truth to it also.

Natasha 8:15 PM  

I've read this somewhere else, years ago. It was just as funny back then as it is now! Love your blog, and thanks for stopping by at mine :)
See ya around

Ekta 8:31 PM  

hahah!
Hilarious but very true story!
Loved it!

Mr. J 8:35 PM  

Lol.. this one was damn good. :p

Srijith Unni 8:58 PM  

A startling and funny revelation of how much the times have changed.!!

Thanks for sharing, Starry.

With Best Regards,
Srijith Unni.

southpaw 8:59 PM  

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.*** Absolutely true....

Chaos And Order - "Satheesh" 9:01 PM  

Absolutely hilarious..! But there are some thoughts in my mind..! I will echo it in some time...! :-)

Keep an eye on my blog..! :-)

Regards,
Satheesh

starry nights 9:06 PM  

Natasha..thank you for stopping by and please do come again.

starry nights 9:07 PM  

Ekta..thanks. who ever wrote it had a wild sense of humor.

starry nights 9:08 PM  

Srijith..true. there were simpler times.now life is so complicated so much red tape for everything.

starry nights 9:09 PM  

Southpaw..true.

Aditi 9:33 PM  

Pretty funny and sadly true especially the last part.. About the govt destroying the world instead...

starry nights 9:50 PM  

Aditi..true.the world is being destroyed.

meet_me 10:03 PM  

dear starry,
i wrote the meaning out for ya :)
u might wanna check it out
take care!!

chet 10:25 PM  

Now that I stopped laughing, I have got to say that is the truth. Great Post! Thanks for sharing it.

Keshi 11:06 PM  

**No, " said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

lol!

Keshi.

The Brown eyed one 3:30 AM  

Very Funny!!! Loved the post:-)

Loga 4:12 AM  

superrrrrrrrrr

Suji 4:58 AM  

LOL!!! That was really good.

Has to be me 6:12 AM  

Ya read this fwd before. Its a good one indeed.

The Perfect Brewing 7:08 AM  

Fantastic ! Modern days it is for sure.

starry nights 7:39 AM  

Meet-Me...thanks for translating.that was a beautiful poem.loved it.

starry nights 7:39 AM  

Chet..glad you enjoyed it.

starry nights 7:40 AM  

Keshi..true.the govt does beat us in most things.

starry nights 7:40 AM  

Has to be me..some one sent me this and I thought of sharing it with people who had not read it.thanks.

starry nights 7:41 AM  

Brown eyed one..welcome to my blog and please stop by again. thanks.

starry nights 7:42 AM  

Suji..glad u liked it.

starry nights 7:43 AM  

Perfect Brewing..welcome to my blog and please do stop by again.thank you.

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP 9:32 AM  

HIhihi
this is funny n just how things r tht even God woul dbe so very surprised how we have made water tight compartements!

Shankari 10:37 AM  

LOL, great one

Harish 12:01 PM  

Excellent and true. Too good :-)

starry nights 12:31 PM  

Hi scribblez ..so true.man has come a long way

starry nights 12:31 PM  

Shankari..thanks.

priya 2:33 PM  

I cud see the lighter side of starry now.
Hope you are stress free now as her exams are over.

KK 2:58 PM  

Too Good!!! great post...gave a laugh at the end of a long day...

Prash 5:40 PM  

It made me smile a lot. Really!!!

It is so true!!!

Keshi 6:34 PM  

haha yes :)

Keshi.

divya 7:58 PM  

so good..amazing post..

starry nights 8:19 PM  

hIRESH..WELCOME TO MY BLOG AND PLEASE COME AGAIN.THANKS.

starry nights 8:20 PM  

hIRESH..WELCOME TO MY BLOG AND PLEASE COME AGAIN.THANKS.

starry nights 8:21 PM  

Keshi..thanks Im glad it made u smile

starry nights 8:23 PM  

Thanks Priya..stress is a little less thanks.

Anand 9:31 PM  

haha!
Thats a wild one..but so true..love the sarcasm in it!;-)

starry nights 10:11 PM  

Anand..that was a wild one.made me laugh.

Jeevan 11:49 PM  

Nice one:)

ishita 2:08 AM  

loll...this was a fun read..thanks fr sharing it!

ps: but shud've read it before lunch and not after!!!!:P

the sunflower 2:22 AM  

very nice one!

karmic_jay 4:33 AM  

Pretty funny. :)

shilpi 9:08 AM  

a verry interesting post...loved it !

starry nights 7:53 PM  

Jeevan..thanks.

starry nights 8:03 PM  

Ishita..welcome to my blog and please come again. thanks

starry nights 8:03 PM  

Jeevan..thanks

starry nights 8:03 PM  

Karmic jay..thanks.

starry nights 8:03 PM  

Shilpi..thank you

starry nights 8:04 PM  

Sunflower..thanks.glad you enjoyed it.

icyblue 10:06 PM  

lol...... =))
Hilarious!!

Inji Pennu 9:30 AM  

hahahaha...that was funny!

Sojourner 2:30 AM  

thanks for sharing this :)

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