Monday, July 10, 2006

'Homely' bride prompts lawsuit

Family of 'handsome' son claims fraud in arranged marriage

I read this article in the worldnetdaily and could not believe this was happenning in the 21st century. It is just sad that people can behave this way. Imagine how the girl feels while all this is going on. would like to know what you think?
Posted: July 6, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern

© 2006

Citing the potential bride's protruding teeth, bad complexion and poor English, a family in Massachusetts called off an arranged marriage and filed a lawsuit for damages.

The Hindu family, residing in Belchertown, Mass., had agreed to an arrangement proposed by Hindu friends in Maryland to marry their niece, who lives in India, the Springfield Republican newspaper reported.

But the father of the groom-to-be, Vijai B. Pandey, 60, filed suit after family members saw the selected bride in New Delhi last August. The Pandeys, according to the lawsuit, were "extremely shocked to find ... she was ugly ... with protruded bad teeth, and couldn't speak English to hold a conversation." The woman's complexion also was cited.

The civil suit against Lallan and wife Kanti Giri of Boyds, Md., seeks $200,000 in damages. The charges include fraud, conspiracy and violation of civil rights resulting in emotional distress, the Massachusetts paper reported.

Lallan Giri said the family pleads "not guilty, 120 percent."

While the Giri's current attorney had no comment, their former lawyer, Matthew R. Hertz, claimed the Pandey mischaracterized the original plan.

"It was more of an informal 'would you like to meet her' ... no money ever changed hands that would require reimbursement," Hertz told the Springfield daily.

When the Giris initially proposed the marriage, the lawsuit states, the Pandeys noted Pranjul was handsome, personable and spoke English, and asked if the young woman was "equally beautiful ... and a good match."

The complaint contends the Giris assured the Pandeys the woman was comparable and would learn English. The Giris allegedly agreed to compensate Vijai Pandey "for everything," if their niece was found unsuitable.

The Pandeys received a photo of the potential bride but said they "couldn't tell much" from it. They followed up, however, with long telephone calls to India and sent money for a passport in anticipation of her eventual move to the U.S.

The lawsuit says Vijai Pandey's wife Lalita, their daughter Pramila and Pranjul, went to India last August to finalize the wedding. The Pandeys arranged for the bride-to-be, her mother and her sister to rendezvous with them in New Delhi.

The marriage was called off after an Aug. 22 meeting.

Vijai Pandey claims the Giris knew all along the young woman "was homely and unsuitable and no match for Pranjul."

The Giris have refused to give Pandey any money.

Pandey has filed a number civil complaints since the 1980s against defendants such as Massachusetts judges and lawyers, an insurance company and others, the Springfield paper said.


Anonymous,  5:07 PM  

That is sad. A person should look for beauty in a person not what they look like on the outside. Despite that, it sounds as if a little dental work would change her looks. Have seen miracles of that. Still should always look for the inner beauty rather than the outer beauty.

samuru999 5:12 PM  

We'd find each face
was beautiful
However plain it seems
If looking past the
dull outside
we saw the wistful

Keshi 5:39 PM  

Who asked the guy to agree to it even b4 seeing her? He's the dumbass here, no one else. And how dare they sue the girl's family for their own stupidity!

**, were "extremely shocked to find ... she was ugly ... with protruded bad teeth, and couldn't speak English to hold a conversation." The woman's complexion also was cited.

OMG thats so cruel to say something like that. Now who would want to marry this guy anyways and get connected to such a nasty family? I say that girl is lucky to get out of this.


jac 6:07 PM  

Shocked !!!

Poor girl !

Ekta 7:02 PM  

this is stupid!
Think both the sides were stupid!
In todays world who arranges for wedding before seeing the girl and guy???

Anonymous,  7:08 PM  

When its all set and done, the gal's dignity is disecrated....disgusting!!! We can say a lot of things abt why the parents of the gal proceeded for something like that, who gives the right to the pandeys to decide whats beautifull, who's gonna decide the credentials of both the parties, bla,bla,bla....but at the end of the day its the gal's reputation which is spoiled, its her soul which is hurt and might not trust anybody in future, i just pray that God gives strength to the gal to move ahead in life, ahead of her family, ahead of the whole controversy.....

Mr. J 7:58 PM  

How absurd can it get. Ridiculous.

Kuan Gung 8:39 PM  

Hee..hee...people...some just don't get it...hee...hee

starry nights 8:48 PM  

Chet you are right, people dont look on the inside, beauty is seen only on the outside.

starry nights 8:49 PM  

keshi you are right, she should thank her lucky stars that she is not in that family, really nasty to begin with.

starry nights 8:50 PM  

Jac..I was shocked too. could not believe what I was reading.they are just money sucking people.

starry nights 8:51 PM  

Ekta..true they are really stupid, one for agreeing without seeing the picture and the other thinking that it would not matter,both families were decieving themselves, I feel sad only for the girl.

starry nights 8:52 PM  

Rajbir...I could not have said it better, in the end its the girl who is hurt, her self esteem trampled to the ground.

starry nights 8:53 PM  

Me..its sad more than ridiculous, they are still in the stone age.

starry nights 8:54 PM is a sad matter.

geetha 10:23 PM  

What a pity! They have failed to realise the beauty of a person is not judge just physically.

While the legal suits are going on, the girl must really feel depressed and disheartened. Shameful on the bridegroom's family!

Suji 10:29 PM  

Well its really sad for the girl, but in a way she was lucky to get out of it.

meet_me 10:43 PM  

that ws so sad... how the girl n her parents must have faced it all...
I can't even think

Jeevan 10:50 PM  

there are many stories like this in the world, in some rural and urban villages in Indai not even showing the photo of the guy to girl before they marry, some uneducated will do like this. god should help them.

chitra 11:41 PM  

Disappointing ! But this attitude of grooms asking for beautiful,. sweet, slim girl is happening.

I recall, once, when some man had to come to see of, I told him that this whole phenomena of seeing girl is similar to window shopping!

Whether they are based in US, or in remote village of india, this is happening!

b v n 11:54 PM  

you cant expect the parents or the guy to ahead with the marriage if they dont like the girl..even if its her looks.looks count a lot,wud say the least 50%.

the ugly part is,they shud have settled this as a private affair.the lawsuit and the media attention is cruel.this shows off that familys maturity.

lucky that the girl was not married into such a family.

Rose 12:14 AM  

Wat shocked me most is how did the family fix up the marriage even without seeing the girl once in the first place.. ???

chandni 1:01 AM  

my god...its horribly sad!

first of all, it was insane to plan something without the guy and girl even seeing each other!!! ad then the girl suffering like that :((((

always happens this way and its so not fair!

Sumitha 1:34 AM  

It is a terrible story but lots like these are going on for sure.What hurts me most is this when people like us living abroad,show such an attitude it does not reflect only on that particular family but it taints the entire Indian community living there.

anu 2:27 AM  

really schoking...i pray for dat gal...btw thx for dropping by !

Has to be me 3:54 AM  

How terrible. And cant beleive ppl can claim money over such issues!
Wish they are blessed with such a daughter for them to learn from how much hurt they are causing the other family.

V N 4:06 AM  

These kinda things have become the order of the day, so much so that its difficult to leaf thru the newspapers without coming across atleast a couple of such incidents.

And they call themselves humans!

Ghost Particle 4:41 AM  

ok...this is dumb. 1000% dumb. Hope that guy never get married in his whole life. this is too much.


Wht crap is this...So many people see the other and then if they dont like, they move on...You cant file a lawsuite for this....I mean maybe you can legally but morally it speaks so low of you...If I were the next girl tht this man would consider to marry, I would surely back out knowing the character of his devious family...

In another perspective Lies must never be told as they spring back and hit you. Especially regards marriage etc etc. Wht is is wht is and altering the facts saves no one grace.

I however wil lnot justify tht false information requires to be punished with a lawsuite against the Giris. The Giris have to learn to accept the girl the way she is and the other mad guys must realise tht lawsuites are not for any tom dick and harry activity. They need some rehab I think so tht they dont repeat such acts in future..Talk about being educated, being in US for so many years. SOmeone would expect them to be mature, if not more mature but they are not different than others who are probably noy hi fi guys working in US with edu etc etc.... Shame on them only.

sudhav 6:51 AM  

I pitty the girl. ho god what the girl must have undergone..I dont understand one thing y people are so much into the outer beauty when they know that its not going to last for long..Even i have heard so much of this kind..I really pitty and pray that god gives them the strength to tolerate all these things..Stupidness is all that i can say lalithat.isin't?

mathew 7:43 AM  

Infact am amused how these people survived in a civil society so far..

Christ.Forgive em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

priya 9:12 AM  

I am happy for the girl she is not into such mean family.
Just becoz you are in US doesn't mean ppl' have to pay you in dollars. Gone are the days where ppl' used to line up for US guys. These days girls parents do ask for the pay stub and all details including SSN.
From my realtives side, I came to know girls are happy settling down in India itself rather going to a new country. Ppl' are well paid these days and they decide pretty well.
If someone talks about beauty, well let them look into the mirror first rather talk about others look.
You better carry a mirror with you loser(VBP).

Saurabh 9:13 AM  

it appears that the groom's side were lied to about the girl. they made all arrangements based on the lie. so they are pissed. But they are the one to blame because of being stupid. And you don't just file a lawsuit because somebody lied to you! If they didn't like the girl (not for me to judge why they didn't like her) they should have cut their losses and moved on. You cannot force anybody to like anybody let alone marry somebody you did not like. But the idea of the lawsuit is indeed ridiculous!! They want to make the bride's family pay for their own stupidity.

nandi23 10:53 AM  

this is stupid.
what gives the groom's family the right to decide that the girl was ugly.
in fact they have showed that they have no class or anything!!!
In this day, when the world is crying so much, imagine we still judge others by appearances, before they are given a chance to show what true beauty is.
The girl is lucky, she doesn't want a husband who wants a barbie, she deserves someone who wants a wife and partner!
that family is really disgusting, to think that they would fike a lawsuit to advertise their stupidity!

Id it is 11:08 AM  

It's absurd that two people can make such a vital decision about their lives without having once met each other face to face. I am sorry that the girl feels rejected and thus 'distressed' but I also feel the boy is justified in backing out of a relationship that he would have found difficult to honor later on. Better now than later, wouldn't you agree?

Shankari 11:13 AM  

shocked. Imagine what would be happening to this girl, she must be going thro an inferiority complex .hope she rises to the occassion and proves everyone wrong

starry nights 11:46 AM  

Githa..really I hate to think what she was going through.

starry nights 11:46 AM  

Suji..true,I would not want to be involved with a family like this.

starry nights 11:48 AM  

meet me..really sad.I could not believe that they were suing the brides family.

Eclipsed Thoughts 11:50 AM  

How funny, the guy did not even see her and agreed to marry (if he was so fussy about looks, he should have confirmed)... How stupid!
All i can say is that the guy is a dopehead, with no brains and extremely cruel (same for his family too). And for sure no girl would like to marry a stupid, foolhardy and cruel freak!!!

starry nights 11:51 AM  

Jeevan. I know this happens in some remote village in India.My husband was telling me a story once of a wedding being broken up because the dowry was not paid,the bride was already sitting and waiting for the groom.someone in the wedding party got up and said they will marry the girl.I thought it was so nice of him.I respect the person who did that because he felt really bad for the bride, on the other hand for something like this to take place over here with educated people is really sad.

starry nights 11:53 AM  

Chitra..I know this is how our culture is and its ok if he sees u and says he does not want you.but to sue for money because the girl was not up to his expectations is sad, not even married yet.

starry nights 11:55 AM  

Bvn..true.nobody says he should have married her. he has the right to refuse, it was not like he had not seen a a respectable family they should have said no and gone on.

starry nights 11:57 AM  

Rose..they had seen a picture, maybe the brides family was not so innocent after all, maybe it was someone elses pic,but in the end it is still bad that they have to air all this in public and sue.

starry nights 11:58 AM  

Chandni..both families were really stupid if u ask me.they had even sent money for her passport.maybe it was a digitally altered pic.dont know.

starry nights 11:59 AM  

Has to be me..I agree. I have a daughter and I would never want to have her go through something like this.

starry nights 12:00 PM  

Velu..true.I am sure if it was not published this would have gone unheard.

starry nights 12:01 PM  

Ghost particle..plain stupid.and money hungry.

Ganesh Ranganathan 12:04 PM  

I wonder if people could stoop any lower

starry nights 12:06 PM  

Scribblez..they have got away with so many previous lawsuits, to them this meant nothing. True they should have walked away,you dont have to marry someone you cant live with, and maybe the girls family lied, because I have seen it happen, the sad part is its the girl who is left with emotional scars,she must feel that she is so ugly that she has to be passed off under false pretense.

starry nights 12:08 PM  

Sudhav..its the girl who suffers.everyone is not beautiful on the outside.her family must have lied, but its no excuse for a lawsuit.

starry nights 12:09 PM  

Matthew..they sure need forgiveness .

starry nights 12:12 PM are right, many families have had so much problems like this, they are settling their daughters to people in India itself.Its not like before actually very few people even want to come here.It is true you cannot lie about your salary they want to look at your pay stub.I am glad because many people lie.

starry nights 12:15 PM are right, they are really mad.but they should have taken the next flight cut their losses and moved on.Just ridiculous wanting monetery compensation and that too $200,000. Is that how much their son is worth.dont know, they did not post a picture of their handsome, english speaking son.

starry nights 12:16 PM  

Nandi23..well said she is lucky to have not got into this family.Imagine what her life would have been later on.

starry nights 12:19 PM  

Iditis....The boy is justified in backing out before marriage,nobody can take a gun to your head and make u marry someone you dont want to.They are partially to blame also.they should not have finalized anything without seeing the girl first.they were stupid to just believe the person who brought this proposal.But making the girls family to pay for their stupidity is wrong.

starry nights 12:21 PM  

Shankari..I hope she proves everyone wrong and is married to some nice guy who will love her for who she is.

starry nights 12:22 PM  

Ganesh..stoop any lower and they will have their faces in the mud.Thats how low they went.

starry nights 12:24 PM  

Eclipsed thought..first let me welcome you to my blog and do come are absolutely right.he and his family are dopeheads, the wise ones are the girls family who refused to give them any money.

starry nights 12:25 PM  

Anu..welcome to my blog and please come again. I sure hope the girl is OK and is getting on with her life.

archana 12:47 PM  

Can't believe it, i am sure things were better than this even in stone age. What a shame !!!! Thank you for writing about this SN, oh my god, i am deeply irritated!!!

Akshay 3:32 PM  

I guess the girl should realize that it is a boon in disguise she is not in wrong hands. She is not married into a loser family. God Bless !!!

priya 5:03 PM  

Starry I have another one for you. Chk it out.

IFS officer on sale for Rs 1-cr dowry

starry nights 9:08 PM  

Thanks priya..I read that article, that was unbelievable she wasted all that time on him and he eventually marries someone else.I hope she wins this case.

starry nights 9:08 PM  

Archanat..irritated me too.

starry nights 9:09 PM  

Akshay..she sure got lucky, did not get into this bad family.

Aditi 11:25 PM  

Oh my gosh this was in the TOI yesterday... didnt realize it was an older story

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