Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Love & Marriage . . .

One day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is love? How can I find it?" His
teacher answered, "There is a vast wheat field in front. Walk forward
without turning back, and pick only one stalk. If you find the most
magnificent stalk, then you have found love." Plato walked forward,
and before long, he returned with empty hands, having picked nothing. His
teacher asked, "Why did you not pick any stalk?" Plato answered, "Because I
could only pick once, and yet I could not turn back. I did find the most
magnificent stalk, but did not know if there were any better ones ahead, so
I did not pick it. As I walked further, the stalks that I saw were not as
good as the earlier one, so I did not pick any in the end. His teacher then
said, "And that is love."

On another day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is marriage? How can I Find
it?" His teacher answered, "There is a thriving forest in front. Walk
forward without turning back, and chop down only one tree. If you find the
tallest tree, then you have found marriage". Plato walked forward, and
before long, he returned with a tree. The tree was not thriving, and it was
not tall either. It was only an ordinary tree. His teacher asked, "Why did
you chop down such an ordinary tree?" Plato answered, "Because of my
previous experience. I had walked through the field, but returned with empty
hands. This time, I saw this tree, and I felt that it was not bad, so I
chopped it down and brought it back. I did not want to miss the
opportunity." His teacher then said, "And that is marriage. You see son Love
is the most beautiful thing to happen to a person, its an opportunity but
you don't realize its worth when you have it but only when its gone like the
field of stalks. Marriage is like the tree you chopped, it's a compromise . . .


jac 9:25 PM  

I am the first too.

A nice way to see things...lovely, Lalitha.

But did you follow that rule ? LOL

southpaw 9:30 PM  

is the most beautiful thing to happen to a person, its an opportunity but
you don't realize its worth when you have it but only when its gone like the
field of stalks. Marriage is like the tree you chopped, it's a compromise . . . ****I dont really agree to this.
I realized the worth of my love the day i realized i was in love. And when i got married to my love, it wasn't a compromise by any means, it was a well thought act from my side ofcourse, i knew, i cudn't hv found any better person than her and God can't be so cruel to take her away from me....

ufukhati 9:38 PM  

Meaning ----

See life as a (round) ball, every side is valuable.

chandni 9:39 PM  

:( I am depressed after reading it

neihal 9:42 PM  

nice story...I was about to write I dont believe in it...but then I thought what can I say with just a 19 month old marriage....I dont know how I ll feel down the years....but as of now I do not think marriage is a compromise...hope my belief stays the same...

Robyn 10:02 PM  

Interesting...thanks for sharing this. I agree with the first paragraph about love. If you find someone magnificent, you shouldn't walk away as you may never find that kind of love again.
I think I need to ponder the second half as I don't 100pct agree marriage is a complete compromise. It shouldn't feel that way...in my opinion.

sophie 10:27 PM  

why such thoughts running in ur mind lali....??

Contented 10:49 PM  

Interesting! May be quite true actually! Thanks for sharing this!

Aditi 10:51 PM  

Very indepth.. thank u for sharing this..

Srijith Unni 11:17 PM  

Especially when you love a lot of people and realize that you have to move on..

Rose 11:30 PM  

Sometimes the reality can be such a hard slap on ur face!!!

I havent entered into a marital life yet.. Im still comfortable in being naive n believing marriages are made in heaven..



The Brown eyed one 11:45 PM  

Simply beautiful!!!I agree that love is the most beautiful thing to happen. But I don't know if marriage is a compromise. I think I should be married to say that. What say??

Manic Street Preacher 12:15 AM  

PREACHER'S a realist.
she blieves in this concept of marriage.
but it's not compromise. she thinks it's a whole lotta other things too.

which includes love.
and pain.
and sorrow.
and joy.



Eclipsed Thoughts 2:17 AM  

what about "love-marriage"??? would that be opportunity mixed with compromise???
Well, nice one starry!!!

Has to be me 3:07 AM  

LOL! That's a good one & kinda true also. But are all marriages a compromise?!

Apoplexy 3:34 AM  

That was nice...a little depressing too.

Mindinside 3:39 AM  

Sweet sweet life would be to bring marriage and love ever stand together as one.

But in hot passionate love stories lovers never happen to marry ..LOL

Poetry by Kai 3:48 AM  


thank u. it's a half scrapbook & half poetry journal..


karmic_jay 5:06 AM  

This is a topic for mroe discussions with so many perspectives. You offered one with philosophical underpinings. I am not sure how I would put it. well put by you though. :)

samuru999 5:08 AM  

very good!
I like this very much!
I am not too sure marrige is a
compromise though!
Take care!

Sumitha 5:38 AM  

I recently heard Sonu Nigam,playback singer in Bollyywood movies say that in the future the institution of marriage will disappear he says "marriage is man made and anything that is man made comes with an expiry date tag"
That got me thinking.....!!!

What Platos teacher said was right,not only is love like that many other things in life is exactly like that.
Reminds me of your earlier posts the grass is greener...we look for greener grass and realise late,the best of grass was what was with us in the first place!!!

Pavithra 6:03 AM  

Nice post !! Marriage is a compromise and the degree of compromise depends on the degree of love ;-)

samiranghosh 6:44 AM  

Hummm... Quite intersting. Thought you might have any personal revelation to make!! He he..

Shankari 7:23 AM  

so well said!

KK 7:48 AM  

Nice post Starry...But is all marriages only compromise?

starry nights 7:54 AM  

Jac..I was trying to understand this and I see that I am not and hope to learn something from this.

starry nights 7:59 AM  

Raj..I admire your outlook on life nd I dont know sometimes if marriage is a compromise or not.

starry nights 7:59 AM  

Ufukhati..so true.Thank you

starry nights 8:00 AM  

Chandni..dont be depressed. In life it really does not happen this way. It was just another perspective.dont really know how to take it and thats why I threw it out there to see the response soI can learn something.

starry nights 8:01 AM  

Neihal..I also dont know if marriage is a compromise or not.

starry nights 8:02 AM  

Browneyed one..true. I think the first half makes sense but really dont know about the second half because I married the man I was in love with.

starry nights 8:02 AM  

Robyn..Thanks I feel you are right.

starry nights 8:03 AM  

Sophie..dont know just started to think what all this love and marriage was all about.

starry nights 8:03 AM  


starry nights 8:04 AM  

Aditi..thank you

starry nights 8:04 AM  

Srijith..May be what you are saying is true. but I dont even know if marriage is a compromise or not.


Haahh...I am taking this lightly....I personally believe tht the perfect or the best tree or stalk or person according ot research and world wide approval may not be the best for you. Wht is best for you is different from is best according to world rankings! :)

starry nights 8:05 AM  

Rose..true, Most marriages are made in heaven not all of them.

starry nights 8:06 AM  

The preacher said it all. love, joy, sorrow, hardships. marriage comprises all the above.

starry nights 8:07 AM  

Eclipsed thoughs..dont know. I married the person I was in love with.

starry nights 8:07 AM  

Has to be me..I dont think so.

starry nights 8:09 AM  

Sumitha..thanks. I dont think marriages should come with an expiry tag because then there will be a lot of chaos. I think.people would want to find someone else before the marriage expires and so on.or give them the opportunity to change.Dont know. I believe in the institution of marriage.

starry nights 8:10 AM  


starry nights 8:10 AM  

Apoplexy..Kind of.

starry nights 8:11 AM  

Scribblez..true the best tree or stalk will not be the same for everyone because each sees it differently.

starry nights 8:12 AM  

Mindinside..so you think it just happens in romance novels. its true sometimes all do not have a happy ending.

starry nights 8:14 AM  

Samir..thanks. My life is like a storybook. nothing exciting just now to reveal.

starry nights 8:15 AM  

Shankari..thanks.Do you think marriage is a compromise.

starry nights 8:15 AM  

KK..I certainly dont think all marriages s a compromise.

starry nights 8:16 AM  

Margie..true. I am really not sure if marriage is a compromise.

sudhav 8:34 AM  

Lalitha, you are very true, love happens only once and if not realised then you have let go of a real beautiful thing in life..
But marriages are not compramise always, thats what i feel lalitha..you know we can still find the best stalk in marriage..
Nice one lalitha..

sudhav 8:36 AM  

Lalitha, the new photo in the profile is good, but the previous one was the best..

priya 9:17 AM  

I feel compromise is a win-win situation based on what you wanna do it. Its a game to win/lose.
Compromise in marriage is basically give and take policy. When you love someone even before marriage, you adjust based on his/her expectations/choice and only then marriage takes place. A couple needs to adjust what he/she likes and its more of mutual agreement.
A marriage need not be/cannot be 100% perfect or happy. As human beings we have differences, but of all we come together as a couple to build a relationship.
Compromise is something either me or you choose to be different for someone at that time period.
When you commit
Foreg., you can go for a movie, which you may not like, but sacrifice for the happiness of the other person. As couples we may ahve understanding, but that doesn't mean we shud have same likes and dislikes.
In many arranged marriages we see, husband/wife may/may not love coz they do not have time to understand. In that case, either one giveup their identity to belong to another/ love one another.
For ., A can be different before marriage, but out of fear changes to a different person after marriage. A tries to compromise his/her life in fear not to lose their love or life.Its only situation that makes anyone to compromise in their lives.
Marriage is a compromise if not how can two people stay together for years just for love. Love comes only with commitment and that commitments leads to compromise few things in life.
Our parent have compromised to their children what they need and thaz how life goes on.
If somethings cannot be agreed together, its better to go for choices which the couples have never tried. I may like tea and my husband might like coffee, that doesn't mean I have to stick to coffee only. Choice and freedom play side by side and we need to take wat is good to build a relationship.
My points can be little contrary to some. What u think starry??
Oh ho!! I took a long page...

starry nights 9:47 AM  

Thank you sudha.I think so too.

starry nights 12:22 PM  

Sudha..thank you. I am glad u like my new profile. the other one was of me when I was little and I got tired of looking at myself.

starry nights 12:23 PM  

Priya..thank you so much for taking the time to write this. I understand what you say and you are absolutely right. there has to be a common ground to make things work.

Mumbai Guy 2:16 PM  

Marraige is a compromise? Hmm, your scaring me now.

passerby55 5:35 PM  

hi lalitha!

a lovely wise post from you.

I am gald you selected to post it.


but lalitha you have scared a few spinsters and bachelors away by this post which says:
"Marriage is like the tree you chopped, it's a compromise"

today's generation ...
and compromise ...??!!??
rather won;t marry than compromise

Hip Grandma 8:10 PM  

have you read Bill Cosby's book by the same name as your post?go thro' it you'll laugh your lungs out.

Keshi 10:11 PM  

Love I think is the MOST beautiful of all emotions. If one never gets to experience that then it's a very incomplete life.


Jeevan 12:56 AM  

How true, Nice one Starry.

alex 2:27 AM  

How very right Plato's teacher is!
Very insightful!

Sojourner 2:44 AM  

but starry.. these are just analogies.... we ought not to be finding full meanings here.
simply: I don't believe that there are rules to life.

starry nights 5:34 PM  

sojourner.I have to agree with you on this.thanks.

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