Friday, June 16, 2006


According to Wikipedia addiction is characterized by repeated use of substances or behavior from drugs, alcohol, tobacco, overeating or gambling. It is a chronic pattern that continues despite the direct or indirect consequences. I have to add a new addiction and that is the computer. The internet has become an important role in our lives today, important in our communication, our work, life, daily activities. and it effects children and adults , it can hurt us , our families and our community if used in a negative way . On the other hand it has made our lives so much easier and has bridged the gap between people and countries as with globalization. Distance does not matter any more. At the same time I think we are getting addicted to the computer , from reading the daily news, maintaining our
finances, even our photo Albums , Internet phones, or just surfing the web. Sometimes we don't even realize how many hours has been spent just doing this.
Vijay is home from school for the summer, the other day I was reviewing his cell phone bill and told him that he had gone over the minutes allowed. He looks at the bill and says" Mom! most of the calls were made to you.". I then told him that maybe he should not call as often and that he should try instant messaging me (IM) when he sees me online. To this he replied." But mom I like to hear your voice."

That was a rude awakening for me because I realized what I was becoming, someone who was getting addicted to the computer. I began to think about the days before the advent of the internet, when I was first married and how I used to wait for those phone calls from India. It was very expensive so calls were few and the mail used to take from 15 to 20 days. Just hearing "J"s voice on the other end was comforting, my heart would be racing, sometimes I could not even speak , it was just nice hearing his voice. No IM could make me feel that way, I think we are losing that personal touch, the voice on the other end could tell us if the person was sad, worried , in pain , happy or unhappy.

I think I am getting to rely on the computer too much, I just sent out Evites for a Baby Shower that I am giving. would it have been better if I had taken the trouble to get the invitations and write a few words making it more personal, I dont know. The internet does make life a little easier for me and also I can get things done fast. Is it a good thing or bad ? am I addicted or not?, am I missing that touch?. I really don't know. Maybe too much of a good thing is bad. I think I have to slow down a bit and not rely entirely on the internet.What do you think?


Marthyan 12:33 PM  

You are lucky mom to have Vijay as your son :)


What Vijay told yo was probably one of the sweetest things a guy of his age would tell his MOM...Very touching reply!!

Regards your predicament. I have to agree we are addicted and we loose the personal touch and even if it may sound rude, a personal invitation means so much more than an E-vite. Not that no one will attend but the personal things says "I have time for you, I care about you and that you come".

YOur initial wedding days and those trickle of calls. Its so difficult, or rthar may have been so difficult!!

My hubbs tells everyone I am a comp addict and I am one!!

starry nights 12:56 PM  

I am Marthyan. thank you. He is really sweet and sensitive.

starry nights 12:58 PM  

I think you are right scribblez, I think I am a comp addict also. my family thinks so. Now looking back maybe a personal invitation would have been better, but I think I did it because of the convenience ,but I know its an excuse. thanks for your comment.

Bhargav 1:09 PM  

Relying on computers is not really bad. Just don't rely on it too much that you loose your personal touch. With comps and internet, I can get around the city easily. Just use Google maps and am there. Need to send in an urgent msg to a group, easy, yahoo allows me to cc to a set of addresses from my address book.
But when it comes to sending greetings for birthday or wishes for an exam, I would rather call and speak to the person.

Id it is 1:27 PM  

'Addicted to the computer', 'blogaholics' are! Here's a way of diagnosing whether you are one:


Definition: One who is addicted to blogging and reading other blogs

You know you're addicted to blogging when:
- You become frustrated because you can not think of anything good to blog about
- You have to take a break from blogging
- Something interesting happens, your partner tells you, " you should blog about that!"
- You check your blog for comments several times a day
- You check your blog for comments before you read your e-mail
- You have drafts saved for future know, so you don't forget those interesting stories
- Your family catches up with what's going on in your life via your blog
- You add your blog as a source of reference on your resume
- You are concerned about your online friend because they have not updated their blog

Blogaholics are also those who read other people’s blogs with an unhealthy interest."

Copyright © 2005 Times Internet Limited.

Maya Cassis 4:31 PM  

same so addicted...I need to pay my respects to it every day ...and come to think of it,it's like praying for me...prayer..which I do not perform to a deity but an object with a flashing windows XP screen.
enjoy your weekend :)

chet 4:56 PM  

You are very lucky to have a son like Vijay. As for the computer all I can say is I know I am addicted to it. There are worse things than the computer but as you said we do loose that personal touch, especially with our loved ones. Sometimes it is nice to have someone like your son Vijay to remind us of how much little things said are important to us. Reading this post is making me look a little closer at what I am missing out on. Thank you for posting this.

starry nights 6:13 PM  

Id it is...thanks for all that info about Blogaholics. I fall into a few.

starry nights 6:14 PM  

Bhargav..thanks for stopping by my blog and do come again, true I dont know how we ever got along without computers.we need it for everything in our lives today.

starry nights 7:03 PM  

thanks chet, it reminded me of what I was doing.too dependent on the computer.

starry nights 7:04 PM to cannot start the day without opening my laptop.

passerby55 7:26 PM  


Computers and internet are here to stay, so we cannot deny certain things. Ofcourse personal touch make a difference.

But, what i observe these days even such personal touch have to rationed, because where u think its touch, the other may interpret it as indulgence or interference.

We are now accepting Independence at many levels.

" But mom I like to hear your voice.".... sweet words!!! if roots are well nurtured from the begining...

Come internet or robot nothing can change that.

Computers/internet cannot rule you. But find time to exercise and make some time for your neighbours/friends at least ones in a while ...(i need to do the same)::smiles::


Mindinside 9:42 PM  

I think internet is magical.
I love it:)

Ganesh Ranganathan 10:17 PM  

I remember back then STD calls were so expensive, my mom used to write down what all to say and then read it....kinda like voice mail...

southpaw 10:36 PM  

One day u'll see a picture where kavita is dragging me and me hopelessly clinging to my even more hopeless pc and the cell phone as well....

Sarah 12:26 AM  

there used to be a life before the comp came Like going to the post office to buy stamp.. waiting for the postman each afternoon.. I miss those days!

JamesBright 1:51 AM  

Things have changed and we have changed too. I don't think it is something bad to depend on the computers..!

monu 6:53 AM  

"But mom I like to hear your voice"

oops.. that was heart touching :)

Sumitha 7:16 AM  

Hey Star,you were worried a few days back whether you can raise your children the way your mom what Vijay told you,I am sure you must have got the answer!You are a nice person Star,i can tell that even without knowing you more or seeing you.Thats that goodness that reflects in your children now!

Ajay 8:12 AM  

hey this is disturbing man. but den computers r a necessity naa .
but then ther is even a phone addiction. keep chatting away for hours n hours :)

chandni 9:31 AM  

hmmmmm interesting line of thought...

The internet and new technology is bringing us closer and bridging the gap in some ways...and distancing us from so much in others...

Here in the US, one diesnt even need to get out of the house, you can buy everything online!!! Imagine ho much interaction it takes away from our lives...

I guess the key is to have a balance, it has its plusses after all...

But like Vijay reminded you, some things are better left untouched by tehnology :)

starry nights 9:43 AM  

passerby55 true we are experiencing independance at different levels, hard to keep up.

starry nights 9:44 AM  

mindinside me too.

starry nights 9:46 AM  

Ganesh...Thats true. the calls from The US to India was $3 a minute, something I really could not the call was limited to the most 2-3 minutes.

starry nights 9:47 AM  

Southpaw...Thats cute. They may have to do that to me too. I have this lap top which is really small and light and so it goes everywhere with me. I just love it.It was a christmas present fron "j" dont know how I lived without it.

starry nights 9:48 AM  

Immigrant in canada...true those were different days. now everything is fast and for the most part impersonal.

starry nights 11:04 AM  

James Bright..Change is good.we cannot do without computers

V N 11:20 AM  

I once presented a paper on Net Addiction, based on my personal experiences, and was ripped apart by a few technophiles, who suggested that the whole concept was exaggerated and blown out of proportion by a group of not-in-the-business shrinks! :) But I guess u just cant deny the existence of CyberPsychology that has been coming up with quite a few revelations, and a few startling ones, at that!

starry nights 11:38 AM  

Monu..Thanks for visiting my blog and
please come again.

starry nights 11:39 AM  

Sumitha...Thank you for your compliment.

starry nights 11:40 AM  

True Ajay..either way we have a problem.

starry nights 11:42 AM  

Chandni..we need both and I think the key is to find a balance so as to incorporate the new with the old.

starry nights 11:44 AM  

Velu..First welcome to my blog and please come again. I have to agree with you that there is an underlying chance of addiction. I dont think it is exaggerated or blown out of proportion.

jac 8:03 AM  

I am addicted though I dont have enough time.

A lovely post Lalitha !!!

Or else I would never have known about a starrynight who has a kind and considerate heart.

We are known but unknown.LOL

starry nights 7:55 PM  

Thanks Jac and I would never have known that there is a nice person like you on the other side of this world.I have met so many wonderful people thru my blog and I am thankful for that.

Keshi 9:13 PM  

I have never been an internet addict b4 blogging came into my life. The only chat site I have ever been to was IndiaTimes for a abt a year...and that too I got sick of pretty soon. Then I started blogging and boy am I not addicted! I cant help it and I dun think it's such a bad thing. Cos it relieves my stress and gives my deep thoughts a voice. And I love the fact that Im reaching out to so many ppl from all over the world thru a simple click :) And Im gaining so much knowledge from all ur blogs/surfing that I would not be gaining otherwise.

Life is too short to call Internet a bad thing..all u got to do is make sure ur benefiting and not deteriorating doing the wrong things. Thats what makes the difference.


Gaurav Jain 11:17 PM  

well, lalitha, I am an addict of the computer, more so because my profession requires me to spend countless hours in front of it.

I also feel that internet is a great way to keep in touch with your loved ones. I am always in touch with my sister even though she's far far away. I wonder how it would have been without it in today's age :)

Divya 11:26 PM  

I hear ya.. Of late Im addicted to the comp too and blaarg it's tough to let go!

Strictly for my friends 12:37 AM  

I feel exactly the same way about myself. I actually nag my friends who are not regulars on Orkut or with checking their mails. Then later, I feel guilty that I myself did not do these things when I did not have a comp and Internet at home all the time.

starry nights 8:20 AM  

strictly for my friends..I know what u mean.

Sojourner 1:20 AM  

best not to rely on anything...
well.. when we have doubts we can stop it and see what happens.. like that cable connection experiment :)
I am sure we can adjust which ever way we can.
And hey, what is this about Istant messenger? We do have voice over the internet now.. free too!! like gtalk from google! Really good!!

starry nights 5:44 PM  

sojourner...we have come a long way , have'nt we. I love google talk.

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