Friday, May 05, 2006


She sat in front of a large studio audience, and was being watched by millions of T.V. viewers to tell her story, her face was disfigured , her hair charred and her arms were hidden. She appeared poised, trying to be brave but at the same time you could sense she was afraid and embarrased. This was a 31 year old wife and mother who was burned alive ,but beat the odds and survived, was willing to face the public and tell her story to make other women aware of the signs of abuse.

Behind her on the screen were pictures of her, looking beautiful, immaculately dressed , pictures of her graduation day, with her friends looking happy and smiling, and one on her wedding day,
most probably the happiest day of her life. She was looking up at the man she had married, she was in love and knew that he was going to protect her from harm and love her.

He had romanced her with flowers, elegant dinners, expensive presents and promises of a beautiful life together. She was smitten by his good looks, his clothes and by the way he treated his friends and family. This was the man she was going to marry.

First there were occasional bursts of anger and criticism, she overlooked it, always blaming it on him being tired and overworked, slowly as the years went by another side of him emerged. The occasional anger and verbal abuse became more frequent. Then started the jealousy and posessiveness . She tried to hide the signs of physical abuse from family and friends by wearing dark glasses and long sleeved clothes. But her eyes told another story, she felt guilty about leaving him because of her upbringing and she wanted her daughter to have a father.

Finally after much persuasion she seperated and asked the judge for a restraining order because she was afraid of him. The judge denied the petition because there were no outward signs of abuse.

One summer morning he followed her to her job, doused her body with gasoline and set her on fire. He left her burning and did not look back . Fifteen surgeries and three years later she was here to tell her story. She wanted the world to know what had happened, she wanted to let other women know that it was better to leave a relationship because of abuse. She wanted to be an example to her daughter.

This was a woman who was always into her clothes and good looks . Now her face was scarred and she had to cover her body .When asked if she looks at herself in the mirror. She replied
" I do, but I only see the beauty within'." Through her pain and suffering she had evolved into a beautiful woman, strong and willing to face the world one day at a time and to tell her story so that abused women all over the world would be able to recognize the signs of abuse and have the strength to leave.


silverine 11:30 PM  

The strength to leave is what Indian women need in huge doses. Women have to start walking out or else the men will take them for granted.

And do you know what pisses me off? The fact that her husband will get a paltry punishment becasue she survived. If she had died then it would have been another case. Life imprisonment in India amounts to just 14 years and they usually let off the prisoner sooner on grounds of good behaviour. Even people who disfigure women by throwing acid get hardly 6 months imprisonment while they condemn their victims to life imprisonment. We have to change the laws, but does the govt. have the political will to do it?

Mindinside 11:49 PM  

"The beauty within"
I strongly believe in :)

jac 2:58 AM  

That was lovely post. The need of the day is awareness of woman about their rights and you have done a good job by writing about it. Congrats!

But I have to disagree with you on a very small point that is jealousy and possessiveness.

Jealousy and possessiveness are closely related to love too.
Every man and woman has this jealousy and possessiveness in born with them. I am possessive about my woman but I don't abuse, harm, let alone try to kill her.

What about you?
Would you not be jealous, if a woman moves far too closer to your husband?
Isn’t that called jealousy and possessiveness too ?
Isn't it because that you love him more. rather than less ?
Is that good enough reason for you to kill her or him ?

Though I dont think that jealousy and possessiveness were the cause, for arguments sake if we agree, let us say that her husband was dangerously possessive and jealous, which is a serious mental disorder.

I am new around here and wish to apologize if I am indulging in total gaffe by pointing out my view.

No pun intended please !

Assuring my limitless support on this issue.

starry nights 7:34 AM  

Silverine..Thank you for visiting my blog site. I think it is a message to all women who think that they have to stay in a marriage just for the sake of their children or to put up a nice front, even after being abused day after day.
And this man I think has got only 10 years in jail, after which he is free to walk and maybe abuse another.

starry nights 7:35 AM  

Mindside...I think every person has a beauty within.

starry nights 7:43 AM  

Jac ...I am glad you raised the subject of jealousy and posessivenes.I think it is human nature to be jealous and want to hold on to what is yours and sure I would be jealous if someone came close to what is mine.But this man was jealous of every man she spoke to, was not able to have her own friends, he was controlling.I think he was very insecure and I think in any relationship there has to be a certain amount of trust because we live in a world where people of opposite sexes work very closely and sometimes there is a need even if you are married to be in their company, this man mistook every thing she did as cheating on him.Thanks for your comments.

jac 8:20 AM  

Mind you, I didn't mean to oppose or discourage.
It was a matter of opinion and no way meant to support that beast

I am all the way with you and the cause.
Thanks for understanding.

starry nights 9:37 AM  

Jac...Your opinion was well taken, I just thought I would point some things out for the sake of a discussion.because inherently we all have those traits even animals,but we have risen above that to be able to set limits on jealousy and posessiveness.

Jackal 12:31 PM  

i find it so disgusting when men abuse women at home.....bit time cowards.....they shud not be even called men......tcc starry

Gaurav Jain 1:53 AM  

Sorry to hear this story. Can you update us on what happened to the husband of that unfortunate woman? Is he or is he not behind bars yet?

Ugly face of human nature, and yes, definitely this needs to be brought to the attention of the political establishment.

WindWalker 3:04 AM  

I agree with jac, with everything that was said, thank you for pointing that out.

Remember that life will always go on, plenty of room for everyone, dont worry, be happy.

no matter how bad you become, there are always worst cases that are worst, you aren't alone, no reason to stop you from smiling :)

starry nights 7:41 PM  

Gaurav Jain..Thank you for visiting my blog site. It was really sad to hear about these things happening in the 21st century. The husband got 10 years in jail.The judge has been placed on administrative leave pending an enquiry as to why he delined the petition for a restraining order.

starry nights 7:43 PM  

Mindwalker.. thanks for visiting my site and please come again.Sometimes it helps for us to be aware of things that are happening around us.

Rose 1:21 AM  



Ajay 6:04 AM  

Wow. Simply wow.Thought provoking
The beauty within. Yes it is what counts ...

starry nights 2:09 PM  

Yes Ajay ...sometimes we are so into how we look on the outside that we fail to see the inner beauty of each person.

Inji Pennu 8:43 PM  

I dont think it happens only in India. This happens everywhere and in the most modern so-called women's lib country too! It is said, a 25% is reported in U.S and that to me is a siginifcant percentage.It happens among the rich and poor,among the educated and uneducated. And the sad part is,in every country on earth, them
women hesitate to WALK OUT!
I have asked myself, if it ever happens to me,will I walk out? I really dont know. Is it love that makes us stay or is it the feeling of being lonely? I really dont know.

Inji Pennu 8:46 PM  

Can you read malaylam? If then
I wrote a short story about the same issue,actually it is not a 'story',but from a real incident.

starry nights 11:17 AM  

Thanks Lg for visiting my site.I can understand malayalam but cannot read. Thats saaaad.

Post a Comment