Wednesday, September 13, 2006
THE COLOR OF MY SKIN:
I think I mentioned in a previous post that a serial that I was watching was suddenly cancelled and it has been replaced with a new one called "Kalyani". I had vowed not to watch another serial for fear of it being terminated again, but "J" said maybe I should watch this because it was produced by the same producers and it appeared to be good. The first few episodes were good, the typical sterotype story of a father having a hard time to get kalyani married, and it was because she was dark and not as beautiful as her sisters.
The story goes on to where the parents of a young man ask for this girls hand in marriage, they dont mind that she is dark because she is the daughter of a friend and also because she is going to bring good luck on the family. The son always wanted a girl that was fair, educated and modern. He mistakes another girl as the bride and agrees to the marriage. When he finds out that this girl is kalyani and she is dark and not beautiful he wants out of this marriage but the father threatens to commit suicide and so he marries her. I can understand him wanting a nice looking girl, most guys do. it is really his choice because he has to live with her.
What got me really upset was that the girl is always referred to as a blackie or a black servant and also when ever the guy looks at her he sees a black goat. That was really sad, I dont know this can happen in the 21st century, how anyone even thought it would be OK to produce a serial like this. Even on the first night of their marriage he treats her bad and makes her sleep on the floor, he makes her look in the mirror and tells her she is black.
I began to wonder what the casting was like. did they advertise for a dark not so good looking girl, and how the actress must have felt that she was playing this part. I also wonder what kind of message is being sent to young dark unmarried girls, are they going to feel that their life if going to be miserable and no one will marry them because they are dark. There are all sorts of colors of people in India and it made me really sad. I think Ekta and Shobha Kapoor should be sending a different message to young girls in India. Maybe as the story progresses it may be different and he may love her for who she is, but it still does not send the right message. What do you think?
PS...I accidently deleted my previous post. I am sorry because I had tagged a few people If you need the questions I can email it to you.
93 comments:
I think it's a very ill thing to promote that sort of thinking. However, it may be that they were presenting it just as a reality in some lives, and not "promoting" it.
It's true, we are all far too hung up on appearance. If we're not too dark, we're too light. If our hair is curly, we want it straight. If we are short, we want to be tall. If we are fat, we want to be skinny... and all applies vice versa.
I have a book called, "Women Who Run With the Wolves," by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. She has a chapter which covers the necessity of loving oneself as we are. This is entirely different than just accepting oneself. This means, as opposed to saying, "I guess I'll do," to say, "I'm fantastic!" In her journey, she traced her ancestors and found that her stature was based on that legacy. She was then able to embrace it. "I am built close to the ground and of extravagant body." I think all young (and old) women need this message.
I find so many bad messages in the serial world, I can't even begin to sort them out. But we can counter them with a healthy body, heart, mind and soul.
Lol... small minds. But it guess it really depicts reality. Sad but true.
wow! do they really still make serials like that??? i rem watching something equally lame a coupla yrs ago called 'jassi jaisi koi nahin'.. which in itself was quite derogatory, if you will! and now color!!??
I think I like the idea of depicting it. Obviously the director is not trying to promote such a bad attitude, but showing how bad it looks.
Yes, this is so typically Indian--which shows why 'fair and lovely' sells so well here! What I find really horrifying is when people make comments about the colour of even pre-school kids in their hearing and even now:(
Hi after a long time! This obsession with colour really upsets me too. How often do we hear people saying that someone is dark BUT beautiful. BUT? Why not AND? I hope the serial is trying to show the absurdity of treating a person differently based on the skin colour. I am an optimist.
I agree with you. I don't think it sends the right message...especially for young and impressionable women. What time do they air this show? Is the premise more focused on adult situations or adolescents?
-Robyn
I had a classmate in medical college. She used a tube of fair and lovely every week.x5 years, because she was dark and was wrroed that, she won't find a partner... Who is the culprit here, our century old belief that, fair girls are better or my friend, who doesn't even have the faith in herself that( even after getting admission to do medicine), it is she how matters, not her skin colour?
The story line is just sick! But the unfortunately truth is there are so many people who associate color of the skin with beauty. And all the advertisements, movies and tv serials support his concept! So sad
Yes, i too think that soaps give wrong message at times. Yes, they are focused on family stuffs, but i feel they make relationships look weird. It is so bad and humiliating to make soaps which might cause some identity crisis.
That will cause more rift and cause more problems in the long run. One's color or what they look like should not make a difference. The most important thing to me is what is inside that person. Good looks will wrinkle with age, but what you have inside will remain the same through out time.
cathouse tERI..tHANKS FOR STopping by my blog and please do come again.I think I would like to read this book. I can understand where you are coming from, itsw not a nice thing to depict,not too many people will understand.
me..reality maybe but to call the girl names saying she is black as a crow is really bad.should not have been said on the show.
s0ulasylum.. yes I can understand if this was happening a long time ago, but this is now, this serial was released a week ago.
The kid..I am sorry but I think it is pretty damaging foer young impressionable girls, I dont think they are going to look at the brighter side of this.If what the producer is doing is public awareness I think they are doing a bad job.
hillgrandmom..you are right. If this is what is being aired what else will children learn.
Anu..how have you been. I have to agree with you. If the producer was wanting to show how bad this is she could have presented it in another way. the husband keeps calling her black like a crow.thats degrading.
You should watch Saath Phere on Zee TV. It is a similar story, but shows more of how the main character, though being dark skinned and subjected to abuse, prejudice and all the social ills still manages to come up in life and win everyone;s hearts and gain respect and status for who she is.
Read more here Saat Phere
I agree with you starry
this serial in my viewpoint is not
sending a good message.
I would find it very sad to watch.
Take care!
-Margie
The theme itself is sick, infact most of their serials hv stupid themes....Hey btw the tag is on now..:)
Interesting starry..either a bad story line or lessons to be learned...very strange indeed regardless (scratching head)?
If we talk about TV serials hmmm they are all stupid. I wonder Vecco and fair n lovely just made money with false ad. They why can't all become the godess of India. Whoever is using have no brains rather just go by the ad.
I saw an ad today comparing butterfly to ladies inner wear. What a crap ad?? I wonder who made that ad must be a real loser.
We call it racism here, in India its just beauty consciousness. Starry, ppl' need to wake up and see the mirror. Just becoz my neighbor wears a size 2, do u think I will. I will fall sick.
Women are projected by mere color, features and wat not. Lemme stop here.
Seems to be a really terrible show!!
It's interesting what different people around the world believe to be the standard of beauty. In India, it's 'fairness.' My husband got many stares and smiles while we were traveling there. He has dark features (eyes, eyebrows, hair) and fair skin. He was even mistaken for a Gujarati serial star when we were in Udaipur!
In the US, the general standard for women has been how blonde (however fake!) and tan a girl can be.
My family is Scottish and I have the whitest, fairest skin. I cannot even tan a little bit, I just burn in the sun. When I was a child (9 to 13 years old) I used to cry myself to sleep in the summer time because all of my friends were getting beautiful, bronze tanned skin from the sun and I had to sit under an umbrella with sunscreen lest I turn tomato red! I thought my fairness was an ugly curse.
Crazy, crazy world.
Starry, Nice post! It's indeed thought provoking..we do find that a lot value is associated with beauty, colour of the skin etc etc,I believe there is more to beauty than meets the eye it is much more subjective & applies equally to people and things & deeper beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder..:)
i never could find any sense in any of the serials on indian television
Hi Starry - A bit off topic, but I think you are getting spammed by askinstoo. Back on topic. It is interesting that every culture seems to have the same issues with color. Lighter is always seen as better or more desirable by the majority. It is the same when you watch Spanish soap operas. Plus there are the same issues in African-American culture. It really is sad.
lalitha...
i wondered why,
an asian man always want a fair skinned girl... and wometimes some guys who are dark themsleves also demand a fair skin girl...
One advertisement on tv (fair and lovely cream) did good business for the product when they showed a young girl (dark skinned) was asked to apply the cream so that no boy would say no to her in marriage.....
how disgusting medai should NOT promote such.
Starry first of all I laughed so much after reading this line:
***What got me really upset was that the girl is always referred to as a blackie or a black servant and also when ever the guy looks at her he sees a black goat. That was really sad, I dont know this can happen in the 21st century...
that I had to stop, laugh and come back to the post. LOL! Cos the way u have written it is soooo funny! thanks for the laughs :):)
Now to what I think of it:
It's the way most Indians/Sri Lankans think. They r all so crazy abt fair skin. Rem fair n lovely cream? LOL! So stupid. Well that's partly cos 'fair' is considered attractive for some strange reason. Cos being fair is not always attractive. I have seen fair and not-so-pretty girls. And I have also seen dark and very pretty girls. Physical beauty is really in features of the face n body, not necessarily in the skin color. But different ppl think and see things differently. They r born that way so we really cant change their dumb attitudes.
That kinda serials should not be promoted in a country where there are alot of dark-skinned women. It's really wrong and like u said it's sending out a very negative message to everyone. Having said that, if a boy has a brain and some good sense, then he wont neglect a girl just cos she's dark.
Keshi.
Starry I think we feel that being fair something great. fair people are like the first class citizens and dark people are the second class citizens. I dont know why but we have an inherent obsession for fairness.Once this kind of attitude changes, these type of serials can scraped. BTW I was thinking of writing on this sometime. :)
It is just so WRONG- you can visit my post on the same- Fair or what?
I wonder why it is such a big deal - and not just in India
- across asia and even the Arb countries. I think it i siNSULTING to our parenst if we complain about our skin colour.
Lalitha
Having lived my entire life of 31 years in a country thats obsessed with fair skin in an absoultely irritating way, I am least surprised abt the portrayal of the heroine. U shudnt be either, even if they show her going after paramedics to relieve her of her 'curse'.
Gawd! I wonder when we wud get over this fierce obsession with anything thats fair. Sigh!!
And I jusy wanted to add one very important thing. Which is, Nandita Das is the most beautiful woman on earth.
Period.
;) :)
lol...black goat..lol
Heck this stuff should not be taken seriously. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and hands of the beer holder. And have seen quite a few dark skinned lasses who are absolute stunners. Let the crap be shown on TV. It doesnt matter.
Guys, most of you seem to be pretty heated up with the F & L Ad. This ain’t about a product. It is about you, me and how's others believe in people and themselves! Since when we need to have model figure and pretty faces only to stay alive and have a happy marriage...?
That sucks & its being mean. Wonder when ppl in India will come out of the skin colour. Globally we r trying to be non-racist! And lo! we have this sort of colour difference in our own country!
Ofcourse its nice to have a light complexion but wonder y ppl look just at that & not the character of the person. Hope ppl will realise their folly soon & appreciate a person for their inner beauty rather than an external one.
the only thing i can do is to not watch these kind of stupid, sreiously ill serials... and to lesson their viewership by atleast one person. hope others will do the same and ad revenues will fall down, but then m i not hoping against hopes... where wud the 'get fair by applying this cream or soap or whatever business' go if this happens?
thats giberish nonesense if you ask me, how will somebody sit down and write such stuff, baffles me.
Ari..have not seen that dont have ztv. Maybe this story is going to show how she overcame all these problems. but what if these girls dont watch the whole serial day after day and only see the few episodes I did.does not send a nice message.
Thanks Margie..I know its the wrong message.
Raj..will check it out. I accidently deleted mine. so sad:(
Kuan..its an awful serial.dont think I want to watch how it progresses.
Priya..you are absolutely right.I really dont get this.to me it sounds racist.even though in my own family I see them looking for fair beautiful girls.I just dont like that attitude.I think there is beauty in each and every person.
Ashley..so true. we are never happy with what color we are and that is human. its wrong for one person t olook down on another and say she is ugly because she is dark.and the worst part is they guy is not really that much fairer than her.
Lera..you are so right and its those values that producers should be sending.maybe in the end ther is a good message.but its a wrong way to get to it.
Keshi you are so right. not in a country like India which has a thousand variations in color.It is not a white country. This serial just started a week ago on Surya Tv a maloayalam channel.They actually show the guy thinking of the girl and an image of a black goat appears on the screen.First I did not get it, I thought it was a bad omen or something that they were showing a black goat before the wedding, but later found that he keeps referring to her as this black crow and goat.Just aweful.
Neers..The only reason I even watch one is that I am at home now 24/7 because I hurt my back and so "J" got this Indian channel so I can watch some indian movies and not get bored.All these years we never had an indian channel and I never watched a soap.
Thanks aNALI..DONT KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF ASKINSTOO. yES ITS REALLY SAD.I thought we have come a long way from that, even though most families still want a fair son, The producers should be showing the other side of life where one does not have to be fair and beautiful.In the old movies, I can understand, but not now and one of the producers is a woman.must be really fair. I am not dark but it still bothers me.
Passerby..thats exactly what I am saying. Everyone has a choice of what kind of girl they want to marry.And if it isw a fair skinned girl so be it.But one should not go around saying that to get ahead in life you have to be fair.If you have surya TV, just watch this serial it comes on weekdays from 6pm to 6.30 pm over here. I saw an ad for fair and lovely where once the girl started using the cream she was being stopped and looked at, and getting all these proposals.
KK..you should may be to the producers of "Kalyani". I am sure the story is going to turn around and he is going to love her and see her for who she is, but is it going to erase how some of the dark girls are going through after watching the first half.
ArtNavy..you are right,this goes on all over the world,but it is wrong.we are a nation that is progressing so rapidly in some areas and then you see a serial like this.
Velu you are right.I wish you guys could just see the first few episodes of this serial, you will be shocked.Its just not him wanting a fair girl,but the way he tells her to her to look in the mirror.Then he asks her if she sees a black crow.things like that.who wrote the script I like to know and did anyone object to the writing.
White Magpie..Do you realize how important the TV is and how things shown on tv can effect you.It was not a comedy show where you can laugh it off. this was a serious show and in his mind everytime he looks at her an image of a black goat appears.
Drama diva..thats what I say, promote a healthy, intelligent woman.Society says fair is lovely, what do the dark girls do, jump off a bridge. instead promote something positive.
Prachi..you are so right. I just worry about how it effects young girls growing up in India.
Has to be me..you are right and like i said before each man has a right to choose the girl he wants, but dont tell the whole world that you have to be fair otherwise your life will be miserable.And thats what is portrayed in this serial.
Adi..you are the first person who brought up the best idea.The sponsors of the show should not have backed a serial like this.And to tell you the truth I did not see a fair and lovely ad.
Ishita..you are right.People grow p with this inferiority complex and I thought we were progressing further, but it looks like we are still in the past.There are so many wonderful soaps out there. It does not even show the guy in a good light.I would be ashamed if I was his mother, to bring him up like that. I always tell my son, he should always show love and respect to woman and always treat them right.this guy does not even have the basic human kindness.nobody will understand how horrible the story line is untill they see it.its just not about being fair, it shows how unkind he is to her because she is dark.
I am sorry , I accidently deleted the tag. How about you doing the tag. take the questions from Raj.
Isnt it good I never watch Local Indian channels!...:P
Isnt it good I never watch Local Indian channels!...:P
:)) omg..that is hilarious..Am sorry but it sounds phunny..I know its not but just..
Christabelle. you are right, how on earth does one write such nonsense and even have it scripted for a soap.dont understand this world.
Christabelle. you are right, how on earth does one write such nonsense and even have it scripted for a soap.dont understand this world.
hey like you said, maybe they are trying to send a good message at the end by turning the story into some good lesson.
No matter what we think or say, in our mind fair complexion is always better. Not that people with dark complexion are not beautiful but our mind has its own defination of beauty based on the views of people around us since generations. I think its in our blood to think that way. It will take sometime to change but its not gonna happen soon.
But yes, nobody has the right to hurt anyone's feelings based on their own silly believes.
mummyof2..welcome to my blog and please stop b y again. It is true most people like a fair complexion,but to say unkind things to a person who is dark and to say she is not worth marrying s not good. It would make a dark unmarried young woman feel ill at ease. I am not saying that men should marry dark complexioned women, its their choice who they marry.Its what the producers are putting out there I find bad.
Lalita, I am not sure if you are checking your gmail, I emailed you your last post that you accidentally deleted.
starry, a very thoughtful post,i think its that colonial hangover that we have...as a guy i can say looks matter - to be true - and its true for guys n gals but skin color is one big bullshit....i dont remember nebody passing the 'slip' to the 'whitest' gal in class. all serials are stupid.
Hey Starry...Seriously its miles tht I write from now...Wow wht a serial n wht a atory..I agree tht the message sent across is nothing I am remotely impressed with...These ppl r now outta the other crappy stories so they r focusing on such stuff...I would want to protest against her...or her company..Sounds very silly to me!
-- This is a reality. Dark girls are still not-so-favored. But this is more with someone from poor family.
-- TV Serials always over-do. Actors gets paid to do thier job and viewers force them to over-do.
-- Bad as it may sound but this is true with everyone from all over the globe. Not just India.
-- Just as guys look for pretty damsels, gals too look for studs. All depends on where someone is standing. So yes, I think this will keep going for ever.
And to add, please stop watching TV serials. Everytime you watch such serials, your promoting them. Wait until they dish out "quality".
TV serials make any sane insane. Truely.
omg thats downright dumb LOL! That guy must be mental. Dun watch such serials Starry. Just write to the producer...actually if I were u, I'd blast him/her in good style.
Keshi.
Hey you know..these directors are unnecessarily trying to pull the attention of the people in the direction where there is nothing to think about.
They are just serving crap but you know whats the problem ,no one is there to stop them.
"The thing that matters is character ,not skin"
I think it is going to be another boring K series by Ekta Kapur.When is going to grow up?As for dark ugly looking girls they must have found a way to deal with this by now ie if they're smart.If they are not they'll learn soon enough.
aww... sex and the city, rules! :p and so does desperate housewives!
I too saw this serials ad in the TV. these type storys will make cry scenes in houses. Being dark skin was great!!
Send the tag questions to me in mail : jeevan.grp@gmail.com
O.K,
Turn to good books!
This is thw worst kind of discrimination.. I have no idea why we are obsessed with a fair skin.. Beauty is just associated with being fair.. Our's is a country where fair and lovely and nowadays fair and handsome has a huge market.. Just check out the matrimonial sites.. every guy wants a fair woman for a wife! God, it's high time we deal with the fact that our natural complexion is wheatish and not fair!
Contented..true. This is it for me no more serials.but what is one to do when one is home 24/7.read books ,think , watch tv .sleep.not much,because I cannot do too much physical stuff right now.
Twisted Dna..thanks I will repost it.
Bvn..so true.Its not wrong to want a fair girl or a pretty girl,but to say that the dark girl is looked down upon is bad.
Jay you are so right,its what we subscribe to.there is more than color ,you can be attracted to a girl who has no looks at all but there is something in her that you like.Its just to get everyones attention I think.why else would someone bring out a serial like this in the 21st century.women of all colors and races have made so much progress.
Hi scribbles I am literally connecting with you across the miles. How have you been.you are right I was totally unimpressed with this story.dont know how it will run out but I dont htink I want to know.I think the first part has done enough trauma.
Mumbai guy..like I said before no harm in wanting a pretty girl or a handsome dude.its your choice but what offends me is the degrading names he calls her and thinks about her because she is dark.
Prashant..you are so right,would you want a girl who is fair and beautiful but with an aweful character? absolutely not.
Hip grandma..yes another boring serial.Did you ever watch Kavianjali, atleast the women were given a nice role.
Neers..have to agree with you.I am hooked on Desperate housewives and lost.cant wait for the new season.
Keshi..you are right.Do you think they will listen to a girl called starry in a land faraway who has something to say.
Jeevan..now you understand why I am upset with this serial.really sad.
Ufukhati..you are absolutely right
r.e.b.e.l...You are absolutely right.Ours is a country of different shades.we are basicall not white.I know fair and lovely and fair and handsome is a big seller but,that is upto each one if they want to use it or not.its the downgrading part of dark girls I find really offensive.
BTW..welcome to my blog and please do come again.
Actually there was a hindi show on air in zee around the same theme. Saloni, she was dark and mistreated in the family. One boywanted 50 lakhs in dowry just to marry her while her fair younger sister was the apple of everyone's eyes because she was fair.
Of course the show changed track and she is happily married now etc etc. But what else do u expect from a culture where even garnier and l'oreal have been forced to come out with fairness creams?
Might sound wierd but in India this mentality still stands true. The colour of your skin decides your marriage potential and the price tag attached to it !
Well said....its sad we still choose a person by the colour of his(mostly her) skin colour. And all the fairness products just make it worse
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