Tuesday, August 28, 2007

"BE HERE NOW"

"J" had just returned from a leadership class from his work.He was trying to tell me what the class was about but I was busy trying to get dinner ready, so he sets this sign on the table which read"BE HERE NOW" and asked me to read it."What on earth is this and what does it mean" I said.

He began to explain to me how two people can be talking and one person is not really there.So often when we are at work we are busy thinking of home, the children and maybe what we will be doing on the weekend. At the same time when you are at home you may be thinking of work and the project you have to complete.The class also says that you cannot be effective in either if you are not there mentally and physically.We are often caught up in the past or the future that we lose our ability to be present in the moment.We do the same things at home.we are distracted with things going on at work that our relationships suffer and we lose valuable time that we could have spent with our loved ones because we are constantly thinking of work.

Another point that "J" brought up was the ability to listen.Listening to what is being said with an open mind rather than judging whether the person or the content is right or wrong.This allows you to see the other person's point of view.

I began to understand maybe that's why sometimes "J" and I don't see eye to eye .Maybe because one of us is not listening and we are quick to come to conclusions.I decided to read the book he brought home.It is written by the "Senn-Delaney consulting group" I learned quite a few things and I am trying to use it in my life.

The value of being here now

Better balance of personal life....
The more that we can fully be present both at home and work the more we will have a rich, fulfilling environment in both places.

Easier, more fulfilling relationships...when people feel heard and appreciated, they feel better about you and themselves.

Less stress, more peace of mind....
when we think about the past or worry about the future, our thoughts can often create stress and reduce our peace of mind,

Better creativity..
When you are in a reflective state of mind you can think better and you are more creative, that's because there are no distractions.

"Behavior is a mirror in which everyone displays his own image" Johann wolfgang

Another quote that i really liked."Some people are making such thorough preparation for rainy days that they aren't enjoying today's sunshine. William Feather.

Part two of this class will be posted next. I learned a few things from this book so thought I would share it with you.

63 comments:

Id it is 10:32 AM  

What a relevant post. Listening has indeed, become a dying art; we need to consciously redevelop it.

polona 11:50 AM  

thank you for posting this.
i have always thought of myself as a good listener and yet i sometimes find myself being somewhere else when people talk to me...

Asha 1:41 PM  

WHOA!! " BE HERE NOW" is fabulous.It says so much in just 3 words!:))

Dotm 4:52 PM  

Very good advice. I believe if we listened more there might be a lot less arguments started. Sometimes just half listening we end up hearing only part of the conversation and end up thinking the wrong results. Sounds like a good book with good ideas.

I have Tagged you for one of the latest Tags. It is an easier one and you can read all about this tag by going to my site. Thanks.

starry nights 7:04 PM  

id it is..so true.I really think the key to a lot of things is to listen.

starry nights 7:04 PM  

Polona..I think I am guilty of that also.

starry nights 7:05 PM  

Dotm you areso right.Thanks for the tag.I will visit your blog and find out all bout it.

Lotus Reads 7:19 PM  

What a great post, Starry,definitely something I needed to hear. Oft late I find myself so rushed I am barely making time to listen to anything anyone has to say. Thank you for reminding me that I need to "be here now".

Srijith Unni 9:34 PM  

good points, wonderfully captured. I too have this problem, of my mind drifting away from the present. Will keep an eye out for the book..!

Have Fun, Take Care and God Bless!

With Best Regards,
Srijith.

Neers 3:57 AM  

J is right! :)

Jeevan 5:49 AM  

These are very useful thought dear. thanks for sharing.

Sometimes it too feels that we are insulting someone when we carry our work and not listening what they tells. Hope you are doing fine there dear.

starry nights 8:10 AM  

Lotus..I think I have to be reminded often because my mind keeps drifting here and there.

starry nights 8:11 AM  

Jeevan..Yes I think there is something to be learned for all of us.

starry nights 8:11 AM  

Neers..how are you doing .ood to see u.

starry nights 8:12 AM  

Srijith unni..The book was given at the class I don't think it is in the stores.It has a lot of useful tips for our everyday living.

Shionge 8:16 AM  

So so true about the rain & sunshine sweetie...here everyone is talking about planning for retirment but...but.....no one knows what is going to happen next and they plan 20 to 30 years ahead.

Good post pal :D

priya 2:23 PM  

An awesome post from you Starry!!! Every word displays information of what ppl' have to learn by it.

chitra 10:34 PM  

."Some people are making such thorough preparation for rainy days that they aren't enjoying today's sunshine. William Feather

I liked this quote the best. Thanks for sharing your learnings.

Nice to have u back.

chandni 12:08 AM  

very well said..

it is so easy to foeget in everyday worries that we are not giving 100% to anything!

May be its time for all of us to actually listen when we listen, and be here NOw, literally!

How are you doing?

Aditi 4:47 AM  

words of wisdom
=)
hope u and your sister are doing well

Anali 10:33 PM  

Really nice post! Being in the moment should be so easy, but it really does take great effort. I have to keep reminding myself. I'm looking forward to your next post! But I'm enjoying this one right now! ; )

Kalyan 7:10 AM  

Yeah, some nice basic points highlighted here. More than anything it rejuvenates a relationship and then we can really understand the needs and desires of each other properly...and communication has always been the key in any relationship...Thanks for sharing and a very nice post!

starry nights 8:15 AM  

Shionge..thats exactly what I was thinking, but sometimes it is hard not to plan for the future.

starry nights 8:26 AM  

Priya..Thank you. How are you doing?

starry nights 8:27 AM  

Chitra..thank you and it was my favorite quote also. It is nice to be back.

starry nights 8:28 AM  

Chandni..thank you . I am doing better and glad to be finally back.

starry nights 8:29 AM  

Aditi..thank you. I am doing a lot better and so is my sister.

starry nights 8:29 AM  

Anali..I have to keep reminding myself also. It is not easy to do.

Jac 8:43 AM  

For the time being 'J' is your teacher and you, his student ? That would be a cute set up.

I liked the William feather quote !

starry nights 11:25 AM  

Jac..we just have each other and I think we need to help each other along the way.I like that quote too.

starry nights 11:26 AM  

Kalyan..Thank you. I think in any relationship communication is the key.

mystic rose 12:26 PM  

hey starry!

this is something one needs ot be reminded of from time to time. :) thank you for that!

and thank you also for your aafectionate words to me.

mystic rose 12:26 PM  

hey starry!

this is something one needs ot be reminded of from time to time. :) thank you for that!

and thank you also for your aafectionate words to me.

Kalpana 12:48 PM  

Thanks for posting it here. Hey, did you read "THE PRESENT" by Spencer Johnson. A good book.
Just go through the link below for few lines from it.
http://kalpana01.blogspot.com/2006/05/stocks-paintings-books.html

Jolikum Salangai 10:19 PM  

communication is the key, tht means expressing wht u feel and LISTENING as well!

btw nice blog...realli like the template... very different to other blogs i've seen! :)

Latha Narasimhan 1:50 AM  

God post! I regularly read ShriShri Ravishankar's writeup in Deccan Herald! He says that being aware of what you do, think etc in the present moment is meditation!
We cannot change the past, The future is unknown. What we have is the present and let us make it pleasant!
First time here and loved your blog! I'll keep coming back to your writings!

Movie Mazaa 9:23 PM  

Its wonderful that u r sharing this with us, Starry!! And looking forward to PArt 2 as well..

J 11:01 PM  

Some people are making such thorough preparation for rainy days that they aren't enjoying today's sunshine

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh... that reminds me of someone I know!!

Ashley 8:06 PM  

Great post. Something we ALL needed to read!!!

Keshi 11:05 PM  

wow great post Starry! I cudnt agree more.

but I do drift away to dreamland sometimes even when Im supposed to be working...lol! but Im a good listener...

Hope ur keeping well. HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi.

Sweetstickychewy 2:35 AM  

Such a Splendid Post Starry!! Wow!!

I love it!!!:D

"BE HERE NOW" Speaks so much sense!:D

***Listening to what is being said with an open mind rather than judging whether the person or the content is right or wrong.

I am totally with the statement mentioned above. :D To-tal-ly!:D

Thanks for sharing!:D

Cheeries!

Krithika 7:24 AM  

nice.i liked them all except tat i think balance of mind is a lil bit of a challenge

mindinside 8:30 PM  

Regarding this issue an important factor in most of lasting warmer relationships,I too agree with you and your husband"s point of view:

We are were our mind is

mindinside 8:31 PM  

Regarding this issue an important factor in most of lasting warmer relationships,I too agree with you and your husband"s point of view:

We are were our minds are

starry nights 12:00 PM  

Kalpana..I have not read the book but thanks for the link.I will have to get that book.

starry nights 12:01 PM  

Krithika..You are absolutely right.In everything in life finding the right balance is the key.

starry nights 12:02 PM  

Jolikum..welcome to my blog and I do hope you stop by again.thank you.

starry nights 12:03 PM  

Lata..thank you and welcome to my blog.I do hope you stop by again. yes being here in the present is meditation and it is an art to be mastered.

starry nights 12:03 PM  

Lata..thank you and welcome to my blog.I do hope you stop by again. yes being here in the present is meditation and it is an art to be mastered.

starry nights 12:04 PM  

Sweetstickychewey..you are right.listenening is the key.

starry nights 12:05 PM  

"J" I think all of us can relate to that quote.I am guilty of it also.

starry nights 12:05 PM  

movie mazza..welcome to my blog and I do hope you stop by again.thank you.

starry nights 12:07 PM  

Keshi..I think all of us have to be reminded on and off to listen , You may feel you are all ears but your mind may be somewhere else. I am doing a lot better keshi.thank u for asking.

starry nights 12:09 PM  

Mystic..thank you and I think we all have to be reminded so that we don't lose the art of listening and good communication.

starry nights 12:09 PM  

Ashley..thank you

Kalpana 7:12 PM  

" The POWER OF SCHMOOZE AWARD is the award for bloggers who effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don't limit their visits only to the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship. "

I pass this award to you since I like your blog. Now, it's your turn to award 5 bloggers.

starry nights 9:01 AM  

Thank you Kalpana for this award.that was very thoughtful of you.I will send it on to five others.

mystic rose 7:56 AM  

Indeed, starry.

Srivalli 8:29 AM  

thats very nice one....thanks for sharing this with us...

btw..hope your sister is doing good...

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