ACROSS THE MILES

THE CATS MEOW..........

Oprah once said that every women needs a sanctuary, a special place in her home where she can retreat to. I think men need one too, especially when they are upset and also when you come home with 5 shopping bags after a day at the mall. My sanctuary is my bedroom, I can see the hillside, see all the wild flowers, watch the hummingbirds and blue birds, occasionally some rabbits and last year a bob cat . At night I can see the stars and bask in the moonlight. My sisters sanctuary is her rose garden, it is a small yard but very special to her, lately there has been an intruder a" Mr Cat " who feels that he can just walk into anyones yard and use it as a litter box. My sister was very upset and asked me for advice. I googled "cat repellent" and got a number of solutions from very mild ones which were biodegradeable and environmentally safe such as citrus peels, essence of orange, ground red pepper, mulch, coffee ground , forks planted in the ground with the tines up and aluminum foil to some drastic ones such as an electronic zapper, pellet guns and traps. My sister being a sweet person that she is decided she was going with the mild solutions.

Day one.. Mr cat found the yard strewn with citrus peels and essence of orange, he just took a deep breath and thanked my sister for giving him the vitamin C that he needed, by doing his business in the middle of her garden.

Day Two.. Mr cat comes by and there is a strong smell of coffee from all the coffee grounds placed in the yard. He feels he is at Star Bucks , sits down, enjoys the aroma and does not forget the tip.

Day Three... My sister empties a whole bottle of body lotion near the fence , thinking it will deter the cat . Mr cat arrives , smells the lotion and thinks he is at heavens gate, but decides he is having too good a time on earth and runs , only to return again when the smell died down.

Day Four.. My sister who is pretty patient is loosing it, she goes for the ground red pepper , Mr cat arrives , frolics in the red mess thinking it is Holi and departs after leaving her a gift. (very thoughtful)

Day Five...Desperation has set in, my sister has nowhere to retreat to, so she gets out the ammunition , the plastic forks, she plants them with the tines up, all over her yard.. Mr cat comes by, all he can see from the fence is these white things sticking up like snow covered peaks, he is all excited thinking he has landed in Big Bear , he skeis inbetween the forks and leaves a souvenier behind.

Day Six... She is getting closer to the drastic measures like the electric zappers and traps but she still has one more solution left, the aluminum foil. She neatly spreads the tin foil all over the empty spaces between her rose garden. Mr cat arrives takes a peek from over the fence and sees the tin foil , he is positive it is WMD (weapons of mass destruction) and flees. I only hope he does not come back with an army. but for now my sister has her sanctuary.